You make me break rules, I should never break.
Maybe someday you'll find the lights you couldn't see in my eyes, But until then, miss me while I'm gone, sweetheart.
Feeling so down today. Feels like I couldn't breathe. Literally, crying right now. I don't wanna be stuck in this dark dark room full of our shared memories.
A part of me believes you like me the way I like you...
And a part of me is telling me to dream on because you would never fall for me.
I don't really have a great memory, but it's either you asked me or I asked you the question "what if a close friend of yours tells you they have feelings for you. What would you do?" I don't know if it might be a dream or if it was reality.
And I remember saying, "I would stop being friends with that person because it's uncomfortable." I don't even remember how we got to that point in our conversation.
All I remember is me thinking about if your new close boy best friend has a secret crush on you and all the times he was being touchy with you. My jealousy was overflowing that's why I must have said that. When it comes to you, I lose control of my emotions. But I still need to get a good grip because I don't want to tell you this through a message or through a call...
I want to know your answer and your reaction even though, I know someday I might regret ever making that choice. At least, I got to see and know your reaction. But sometimes, I would just run away and be a coward not because I can't face the truth but because I don't want to know what my world would be without you in it.
Look, I love you. Deep inside of me, believes you feel the same way. But God, who am I kidding... you're straight. I'd rather just stay as close friends than lose your presence in my life. I know someday, I have to let go of my feelings for you but, at least, let me pour out everything I want to say to you because I don't think you have any idea how important you are in my life. I can't and I don't want to lose you.
Please... at least, some day, let me know what you truly felt and feel for me. Is it just friendly love or is it something more? I recently translated for the first time what you wrote on my notebook 2 years ago, and I couldn't believe what it meant.
You wrote:
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"사랑해 애긴"
Translation:
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"I love you baby"
Could it be intentional or you just forgot how to write friend or chingu in korean or maybe...
Maybe you do love me the way I love you.
But what really makes me confused was when my undivided attention towards you was ceased and been divided. You went through a breakdown and replied to my I love you for the first time with a sticker holding a full heart.
If you do meant it the other way just give a sign, I guess...
Look, all you have to do is say you love me too and I would know what it means. You don't show your true feelings and I understand you, and I don't want to pressure you on telling me if you do love me. I just need to know....
At least, tell me that because I need to stop...
I need to stop having feelings for you because I don't want to be stuck in this dark room full of our shared memories. You're not just my crush, you're also my best friend... and that's the most painful part. You're my best friend and I fell for you.
I remember when we would listen to a nightcore remix of "I Fell In Love With My Best friend" and me thinking if you even knew what it meant because every time I think of anything. It's always somehow making its way to connect with you. I did everything I can to stop falling for you. I dated models to stop myself from falling deeper for you but, even then.. I still don't get why I don't get butterflies or the unexplainable sensational feeling that I get when I see you or think of you or talk to you.
You make me feel giddy and happy and jumpy and full of joy that sometimes, I don't even realize that I'm smiling from ear to ear even just by the thought of you.
You're my dream. The one I've always been wishing for every time 11:11 strikes. The person that keeps me awake every single night, The person who can make me sad and happy at the same time. The person I've been longing for My best friend... Who I fell for and has been the worst break up I have ever felt
I'm sorry, but You're still the one I love. You have always been, And it's still painful for me to realize that one way or another I have to let you go. Because it's the only way I can live moving forward
