The Lights We Cannot See

"Two Worlds Apart"

There are some people in our life who will turn our laugh a little louder, our smiles a little wider, and our heart a little warmer.

We may not realize it now but sometimes all we need is someone who will join us in our own weirdness, our own triumphs, and even in our own hardships.

The challenges that would always leave a mark in my life are the ones that I cherish and learned a lot from the most. Everybody in life has their own weaknesses. It could be anything... It could be their love for their family... or for their children... or for their parents... or even for their best friends or their lovers.

But for me, my weakness was that I fall in love with something or someone easily that I would always be left with a broken weeping heart. All of my life, I always wished for a person who'd always understand me and always be there for me. Actually, I found that person...

Yes, a friendship that started with a simple Hi and Hello to a 3 year full of joy, laughter, love, and connection. I finally found my person...

...but why am I sad?

Maybe because I didn't let her feel that I still and will always choose and love her. Some people can call other people whom they just met as their best friend. But I prioritized one person out of all of my best friends and the people I meet. I want everyone to know her but for the sake of privacy, let's just call her with the nickname "Zed".

Now this person has been through a lot of things growing up. She's been through probably most of the unimaginable kinds of pain in her life. She grew up without her biological father beside her, her mother was always working for the sake of their family since she was young, she has a little sister whom she's responsible to take care of, then her 3 year boy best friend who suddenly didn't talk to her which broke her heart. But the thing that shocked me and made me look up to her so much, is that even though, all these things had happened to her at such a young age. She still grew up to be a fine and kind young lady even after all the stuff that had happened to her. I always wanted to thank her parents for making her because a lot of people wouldn't be where they are now, if it wasn't for the help of their daughter.

I'm glad she at least grew up with a loving Mother, a little sister who probably has her back, her grandparents who loves her no matter what, her uncles and aunts who loved her for her, and her cousins who replaced the missing piece in her with love and joy through her childhood. Who would have known that that person who had been through a lot would grow up as the person I've always been wishing for since I could remember.

She's what you call a "Keeper" because she prioritizes you even though she has a new better circle of friends. She's what you call the definition of imperfectly perfect. She had me at my worst and she still loved me for me. She's like a book full of surprises. She's a hard book to read with a small font and a complicated plot line. She's definitely not paperback because she's worth more and the cover is extraordinary. But everything inside denies ones expectations. And I am not sure if I am advanced enough to be able to re-read nor finish the book.

All the stars above us... imagine if they were people. Seven billion stars with different beliefs, different looks, different personalities and somehow, that star gets to meet the star who will love her. Out of seven billion stars there's only that one special star meant for you and somehow, I still wished it was you.

I'm currently traversing the same road I passed by before I got to you. Life is really a series of pulls, back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.

I used to take my friends for granted and now, it's the opposite. I've learned my lesson and every single day I'm still learning. I'm trying my best to be a better version of myself, so that I can help other people. Because success doesn't always mean you're rich and politically powerful. Success means being of value to yourself and to other people. In this world, your value is needed. You have to know your value or you'll always be taken for granted.

I will always wish for your good health and for you to be happy. I'll always wish and be thankful you came into my life. But I'd pray and wish to every shooting star and to every time 11:11 strikes that our friendship would last forever. I'll weep and kneel in front of God for him to let our friendship be forever...

Because I can never bear to lose you ever again.