Goosebumps

49 Birthday

**Alessandra's Santoro pov**

February 15th 2011.

I was now turning fifteen. My first birthday without my parents. My second birthday without my sister. My first birthday where I woke up and felt like shit. It wasn't just my birthday where I felt like crap. It was everyday when I felt like it. Every single day, I would just wake up and immediately think. Was it just my last before they find me and kill me, like they did to my parents. They killed the reasons I used to smile. They took away the reason I used to laugh. They took away the reasons for my happiness. They took away everything that I cared for. They took away my family.

Sadly enough, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained.
-Jonathan Harnisch

This loss feels like an ache between my ribs. It's sad and scary, but soft and steady. It's always there humming loudly, beneath it all. Beneath it all. Sometimes, it rests and just whispers.

ssshhhhhhhh

It only takes one moment of missing you, to make it roar.
-Emmy Marucci

They were the qoutes my dad used to say when my sister passed. I couldn't imagine my life with her gone. And now I can't imagine my world with them gone. I miss them. All three of them. I miss my family. I miss my sister, I miss my dad and my mom, I miss the warmth they all gave me when I was sad, I miss the happiness we all got from eachother, I miss the bond we all shared. I-- fuck.

Some days I'd wake up and wonder if it was my last. I was never suicidal and I would never commit it, but the pain never went away. It will always be there. Medicine isn't working, therapist aren't helping, meditation doesn't help either. Nothing helps.

February 15th 2018.

It's six in the morning and here I am, driving in a car. Norah is passed out in the passenger beside me, snoring. I didn't want to wake her up, so I carried her all the way to the car, she is a heavy sleeper, that's why we didn't hear her screaming, when she was taken away...

We're driving in the highway, heading to Bologna. A less than two hour drive. As from the information I got over the days, Giovanni's family lives there. I have just enough explosives to get their three houses here burnt down. I already blew up one of them. It was a big house, no security, a few cameras and that's it. I really thought they would have hundreds of armed men walking around, but guess not. Heh, sucks to suck, Giovanni.

Speaking of the devil, I still haven't denied my feelings for him. I certainly won't get over the fact that the man I love, tried to kill me and just screamed in my face that his feelings are negative towards me. I miss him and I still will, but what he did to me, can only be moved on by time. Time. Time heals everything. Time heals our pain, it takes your pain away, it can also take away your happiness that you thought for, time can make things go from absolute worse to the best, or the other way around.

I used Norah's phone as a GPS, and before the sun could even rise, the car came to a stop in front of a house. The house was yet another of the Luciano's, it was similar to the other one, just a bit bigger. The house was nice and I almost felt bad for them. Almost. I took some explosives from the back of the car and shut the door, quietly.

I walked around the fence, trying to spot a perfect place and trying to avoid all contact with the armed men in the corners. The sun was starting to rise, but it was still dark out, light enough to spot a figure.

I mentally high-fived myself for bringing a grenade with me. When I finally positioned myself, I threw the grenade into the distance. I could see the grenade flying towards the woods, and that was my cue. I took all the explosives I brought with me and threw two on the roof, and a few other small one's on the sides. While a small boom echoed through the air and caught everyone's attention I started to run towards the car. Half way of me running into the car, I grabbed a small detonator from my pocket and activated as soon as I got into the car. I parked it a few streets behind, so no one could see it. A few really loud thuds reached my ears, they were so loud, that even Norah woke up. A way to spend my birthday.