Crush

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You were standing but you couldn't find the ground. Your eyes tried to adjust but there was nothing to see, just pure black spanning for miles. Your hand stayed firmly intertwined in Kylo's as you searched for Lenna. Suddenly, the darkness melted away and you stood on a planet of beautiful greenery. You spotted Lenna, hiding in the shadows of the forest as she watched the scene at hand play out. You and Kylo were hidden bystanders as you watched the deaths of the blue people who had defied the First Order. You watched as you and Kylo agreed to split up and you and your stormtroopers entered the woods. Lenna moved from her hiding spot and revealed herself to you. You watched as you gave her the vial, listening to the words you had convinced yourself were true, it is the only way. You knew you had to continue holding Kylo's hand in order to stay in Lenna's dreamscape but you refused to look at him, knowing that him finding out your darkest secret was now inevitable. The green world faded away and you saw yourself sitting in Mos Eisley's Cantina mouth agape as you learned her exciting news, I'm pregnant. You watched as your expressions shifted from happiness to worry as you gave her clear instructions, I don't want to know where you take it. You watched as the tan walls faded away and you were thrown into the rusty scape of Corellia. You saw yourself in a shocked state as you saw Lenna. You were so obviously nervous, the only thing saving you from being found out then and there was Kylo's apparent discomfort. Instead of continuing her dialogue with your dream self, Lenna turned to look you square in the eyes.

"Hello, Your Majesty," she stated calmly.

"Lenna, it's time to wake up," you encouraged her gently.

She nodded in agreement, stepping towards you and taking your hand. The second your fingers touched you were shot back into the real world, bright lights blinding you as you came to. You turned from your seated position to see the doctor staring at you both in concern. Leave you mouthed to her and she obeyed in an awkward manner. You watched as Lenna's eyes opened, smiling kindly to her as she blinked. She smiled back when her eyes finally focused, finding your friendly face.

"You are on the Finalizer, Lenna. You are safe now."

"This whole time," Kylo's deep and cold voice snapped you and Lenna from your moment of relief. "I knew- I knew you were hiding something from me, but I convinced myself I was just overeacting. That I was crazy for having these dreams, hearing small whispers in the force, finding that page ripped out of the Sith texts. But I wasn't was I? The child Lenna is carrying, it's ours isn't it?"

"I- I'm so sorry Kylo, I had to do it! Please, let me explain."

He shook his head, standing up so quickly that the chair fell over hitting the floor with a jarring clang.

"I trusted you. I believed you were more than that arrogant girl I met on Malachor. I see now that I was wrong."

He stomped out of the room, door slamming shut behind him. Tears rolled down your face as you stared blankly at the door, watching as Kylo walked out of your life for what might be forever. You let out a small sob and Lenna squeezed your hand weekly.

"You did what you had to do," she spoke your name reassuringly.

"I know," you cried into your hands. "But was it worth the price?"

///

You woke with a jolt as the door opened with a hiss. You were sitting in the corner of Lenna's room, trying to catch up on sleep. A nurse walked in with a tray of food that was meant to be Lenna's dinner. She turned to give you a small bow of recognition before bringing the tray to Lenna. You stretched and stood, getting ready for what was the beginning of your day and the end of mostly everyone else's. The nurse jotted down Lenna's vitals and left the room as you pulled your heels onto your feet.

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