Marry Me

Chapter- 47 Drinking Despodencies

I smell the wind, it smells of mud, and flowers and woodpines and .... I avert my face again my hair waving like crazy. I don't want to smell his scent. So I push my face out the window chilly winds and rain falling on my face.

" Shanvi please...." His almost wavered voice tugs at my gut and my head fills up in confusion. What does he want to talk about? What can he talk about that will make everything right?

I would have said that the smell of streets and dirt mixed with breezy smell of trees and rain feels better than his smell. But I knew I was lying to myself. So I opted to not say anything. And it felt like he got the clue because through the whole drive he didn't try to say anything else.

The large filgreed gates automatically cleared the way for the car. And he continued driving through the grounds till we got to his glass mansion.

I instantly took a deep breath. The white Calcatta marbles were glowing in the hanging lights. The old style porch door of the house was covered in blue crocuses. I felt like I was breathing ice. With crucible force, I turned my head towards him and I managed to choke out, " What is that? "

" I....." He seemed to take deep even breaths. " You and I need to talk... Listen Shanvi. "

Before he can complete the whole sentence I open the car door and bang it close on his face. His eyes widen in surprise and he visibly shakes. My steps stagger and for a moment I want to go back and get inside the car and just hold him and cry. But with shame I realise.

I am so scared. I am so scared that I don't want to listen for him to say that all of it was a lie. That I was never his friend. That he really thinks I am dumb and .....

No. I shake my head and take hateful steps through the driveway to the other side door of the house. Completely ignoring the patio part which also seems a new addition to the house. Since when did you have a patio? I feel a Powerful internal tug. Like a magnet pushing me towards the back. But I ignore it.

How many questions I wanna ask him. Not today. I tell myself. You can't take it today.

I click through the wooden floorboard and I hear his fast footsteps following around. I hastily move forward to try and evade him. Atleast no one of the house care taker seems to be in this part of the house.

" Shanvi " I hear his disgruntled voice calling me out.

I ignore and start towards the staircase taking two steps at a time. I take a look back and see him following me up. He looks so beautiful my chest contracts. His hair, in straight brown mess. His eyes they look at me in so much....pain? No no you are getting crazy Shanvi.

" STOP" I say, in an unfettered voice. He deigns like someone just pulled a string and stopped him. His face contracts as if his body is itching to force him to move.

" If you ever for a single second respected me Kiyansh. " It's so painful to say his name out loud. " If you ever did. " I whisper again. " You will not follow me. You will just stop. Please. " My eyes burn. My throat itches like someone has filled it with acid.

" Shanvi....." Kiyansh whispers his face looks like he is going to cry.

" No Kiyansh. Not again. " I force myself to say and walk away before I break myself again in front of him.

I directly go to the room I last stayed in while I visited his home. I burst out crying when I see the bed is draped in Ironman bedsheets. It is the same bed in which and I said yes to him. It is the same bed in which for the first time he...hugged me like it was something else. Like his eyes, they were burning with something. Like he really really wanted to spend his life with me. Why did he do that? I suddenly want to turn and go outside and ask him. But I let myself cry. I cry and cry and cry until I feel like my throat will burn out in itself if I even tried to gulp. I get up with jelly like legs. With a shaky breath I open the closet to find it empty. And my mind goes back to the conversation we had days before the marriage.