The Dilemma - Fransykes

15. Dan

le peepee

im trhing to write but im feelin pretty wholesome. comfy comfy blankee, wan my joyfriend. so u get fluff

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His throat was sore, but Josh continued to stick his fingers down his throat and attempt to bring up what he'd just eaten.

Dan was on to him, so that night Josh was forced to eat. He didn't plan on throwing up, wanting Dan to believe him, but he had to. It was killing Josh, the feeling of that food in his system.

He didn't get far, though. Dan was soon prying Josh from the toilet.

"Let go!" Josh screamed. "Let go!"

Dan knew. Dan knew, after months, he had the proof. What would he do? Send Josh away? Make him eat?

He can't stop me.

"Shh," Dan soothed. "It's okay, J."

"It's not fucking okay! Let me go! Forget this happened!" Josh whined.

"You're right, it's not okay - you're not okay. But you need to calm down." He wasn't calm, he was far from calm, but his screams died down and Josh was left panting in Dan's grip.

"Let's clean up and talk." Dan helped Josh stand, who wobbled at the sudden diziness. Concern consumed Dan, what was happening to his best friend?

Josh sat down by the kitchen table. Dan got him a class of water and some carrots and sat across from him.

"So," Dan began.

"So."

"So what the hell's going on?" His soft voice hardened into anger.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Josh shrugged stupidly, taking a sip of his water.

"I just saw what you were doing J! You're "never hungry," you throw up, you grow sicker by the week!"

"I'm fine," Josh argued adamantly.

"For fuck's sake, you are not!" Dan couldn't be calm. He stood, knocking the chair over, and slammed his palm on the table.

"It's not my fucking fault no one likes me!" Josh's hand slid, pushing the carrots and water off the table, but he didn't focus on it. "No, scratch that, it fucking is. Let me fix that! What, do you want me to be just a sex toy to everyone? Can't I look fucking tolerable?"

"God damn it Josh," Dan whispered, his voice weak. "You're fucking beautiful, there's nothing to fix. This will kill you."

"And where's the fault in that?"

Josh didn't mean it, not really. He didn't want to die, but he was angry and at the moment the world did seem better off without him.

"I'm not losing you Josh!"

"It's my fucking life, stay out of it!" Josh stood and rushed to the door.

"J, Josh where are you going? It's pouring." Dan tried to grab him, stop him, but Josh pushed him away.

~~

"Oliiii get the door!" Tom whined.

"You! You're closer!"

"I'm playing Fortnite!"

"Fuck Fortnite!"

"For christ's sake, I'll get it," Jordan intervened, opening the door.

"Josh?"

Josh stood in the doorway, soaking wet in a tee and jeans. His tears blended in with the rain, only noticeable if you saw his bloodshot eyes and runny nose.

"C-Can I stay the night? I got in a fight with Dan."

"Of course, come inside." Jordan brought Josh to the couch, where, after pausing Fortnite, Tom moved over and stared at Josh worriedly. "Tom, go get Oliver and a fresh pair of clothes for Josh."

"What happened?" Jordan asked after Tom left.

"H-He um.. We.." Josh's teeth clattered from the cold.

"You can tell me later. Would you like some hot chocolate?"

Josh moved his head to say no, but nodded instead. Fuck it, he could treat himself after a night like tonight.

Jordan left to the kitchen while Josh picked at his wet nails.

"Josh?" Josh looked up, locking eyes with Oliver. He hadn't seen him in weeks, and the sight of the other man made him smile.

"Holy shit, come on, let's get you changed." Oliver pulled Josh into the bathroom, handing him a fresh pair of clothes. "I-I'll be outside."

Josh nodded, mumbling a thank you and shutting the door. He glanced at the toilet. I never finished..

His throat wasn't up for the strain, and he was far too tired, so he discarded his clothes and changed into the sweatpants and hoodie. He already felt considerably warmer, and cozier, as he stepped out and padded to the kitchen.

"How are you?" Oliver asked, handing Josh a cup of hot chocolate.

Josh hummed, not quite sure how to answer the questions. Exhausted, sad, and angry.

"What happened?" Jordan sat down as well, tapping his fingers on his knee.

"Um.. Me and Dan were having dinner, and things got heated, so I ran out."

"What were you two talking about?"

"He was trying to.. help, with something.. and I got angry."

Josh was guilty, now. It wasn't Dan's fault, he was just worried. And now he was probably terrified, looking for Josh. No, it wasn't Dan's fault, it was Josh's.

It's always your fault.

"I'm sure you two can resolve whatever it is in the morning. I'll text him you're here," Jordan offered and stood to leave. Josh mumbled a thank you.

"What have you.. been up to lately?" Josh asked Oliver awkwardly.

"Um.. working out, seeing old friends and uh, working," Oliver murmured. And laying in bed for hours, because getting up seems pointless.

Josh nodded. "Sounds nice." He let a yawn fall from his lips, covering his mouth with the oversized sleeve.

"You tired?" Oliver asked with a smirk. Why was he so cute?

Josh nodded, rubbing his eyes. "I can sleep on the couch."

"No, no it's okay. You can take my bed."

Josh pouted. "I don't want to be a burden."

"No, you're absolutely not."

So Oliver tucked Josh in (per Josh's request) and took the floor. But the moment Oliver turned the light's off Josh squealed.

"Everything alright?"

"I-I'm scared of the dark," Josh murmured. "Can you.. l-lay next to me?"

Blushing greatly, Oliver got in bed beside Josh, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. A small hand latched onto Oliver's bicep, until Josh was cuddled into his side and sighed in content.

"Thank you," Josh mumbled.

"It's no problem, sweetheart."