The Dilemma - Fransykes

14. Therapy

im gonna halfass a chapter for u fuckers. dont knoe how long itll be, and it wont be too good, but it's existence is your gift (even tho ill probablt write a sentence and not finish it for another week)

~_~_~_~

It had been a month since Oliver got back from rehab and, to his surprise, he was still clean.

He'd made the unitentional habit of texting Josh whenever he had the urge, which was often. After awhile Josh understood what was happening, even if only a vague understanding and that being Oliver needed someone, and he was happy to talk to the other man for hours over the phone about nothing and everything.

There was a familiar feeling that grew in Josh's chest at the mere thought of Oliver, one he knew all too well. God damn it, he was supposed to be closed off, wary, not growing feelings for another boy that gave him a second glance.

But he couldn't help but anticipate everytime he'd see Oliver again, couldn't help but worry for his well-being, which led to asking how the man was at least once a day. Was he being clingy? Oh fuck, he was most definitely being clingy.

'josh, u there?'

Josh jumped at the vibration of his phone, looking away from the show to respond.

'Yeah, how are you?'

'fine, you?'

'Good'

'what're you doing?'

Josh took a picture of the TV that played Orange Is the New Black and sent it to Oliver.

'oohh, fun'

'Yeah'
'You free sometime this week?'

What happened to not being clingy, for fucks sake?

'yeah, pretty much all week. except wednesday- i have something around ten, anytime after though'

'Okay! Thursday then?'

'sure. time and place?'

'Uhh, park, three?'

It had become their place at that point; the park, three, whenever both were free.

'sure. see you then, <3'

Josh choked on air and began to squeal. A heart? Why? What purpose? What did it mean? Oh my god.

"Josh! Shut the fuck up!" Dan kicked the wall in the other room.

Giggling, Josh continued his show.

~_~_~_~

Pen clicking, foot tapping, the AC, and the intimidating gaze of Ashby, the ginger therapist.

"You gonna speak?" Ashby inquired, lifting his feet to sit crisscrossed.

Oliver shrugged. Jordan had thrown out the idea of therapy, and without much say in it, he was signed up.

"Tell me about Josh. You've mentioned him a few times."

Oliver stiffened. Josh?

"He's uh.. my friend," Oliver mumbled.

"What do you like about him?"

Everything.

"He.. He's considerate, and reasonable. Doesn't push things unless it's needed. He distracts me.. when I want to use again."

"That's good," Ashby commented. "It's good you're going to him rather than drugs. Does he know about the drugs and your time in rehab?"

Oliver shook his head. "He'll think differently of me.." The idea of Josh leaving him for his old habits tore at Oliver.

"I don't think he will, I think he really cares about you, y'know. What else?"

"His eyes are.. really unique. I mean, usually I think blue eyes are overated, or eye color in general, but, his are.. really pretty. And his smile is really cute, I-" Oliver paused, realizing what he was doing.

Oh my god.

No.

"I have to go." Without further discussion, Oliver stood and left the building.

No, no no no he could not have feelings for Josh. That was wrong.

The air was thicker, or maybe his throat was closing up. Whatever it was, it was harder to breathe and all Oliver could do was collapse against the brick wall and beg for it to stop.

His first idea was to call Josh, but that would only make things worse.

"Jordan?" Oliver panted through the phone.

"Shouldn't you be in therapy Oli?"

"Ended early. Please hurry," was all he could manage.

"I'm leaving now. Breathe with me, would you? In and out," Jordan directed - sensing Oliver's distress.

"Mhm," Oliver hummed.

Jordan arrived, bringing Oliver to the car and drove him home. Oliver texted Josh.

'hey, sorry, im busy thursday. hang out another time?'

'Yeah, sure!'

~_~_~_~

*gasp*

so theyre both realizing theyre gay as fuck for each other

they just needa accept it

this was gonna be longer but accept what u got because im lazy