The Dilemma - Fransykes

10. Ferris Wheel

im gonna t r y and finish this chapter tonight, but ill probably vibe to ymas instead and give up because existing s u c k s

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As if his mind had predicted the events about to unfold, Oliver remembered his one night stand with his teenage-best friend just before a knock on his door woke him up.

Standing, he was met with diziness that took him a minute to get over. Fuck, he needed to eat. It was easy to forget simple tasks like eating when you were hung up on feeling numb.

Oliver stumbled through his cramped apartment, grumbling he'd be there in a moment to the stranger pounding on the door.

"Yes?!" Oliver growled, losing his voice as he saw, well you couldn't have guessed, Jordan.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing here?"

"Could I.. come in?" Jordan asked.

"Fine," Oliver grumbled and motioned for the other man to come in.

Jordan walked around, taking in the state of Oliver's apartment, which wasn't a good one. Hesitantly, he sat on the torn leather couch.

"How are you?" Jordan asked softly.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Oliver mumbled. He sat across from Jordan, as far away from him as he could get, and angrily sipped on his coffee.

"Why do you hate me?" Jordan snapped, losing his calm demeanor. "What did I do? Was it what we did? Because you initiated that Oliver, out of nowhere, and we were sixteen-!"

"Don't remind me!" Oliver yelled. "Don't remind me," he repeated quieter, his voice was weak and fragile; like a scared child.

"I- I'm sorry," Jordan mumbled. His hand lightly touched Oliver's knee, but drew back when the other man flinched. "What's going on, Oli? Are you still taking those drugs?"

Oliver scoffed. What did it look like?

Jordan sighed. "You have to quit. I can help, if you want, and the rest of the guys. We miss you man."

"I don't need help," Oliver hissed. "I'm a perfectly functioning adult."

He wasn't, though. He could barely keep a job, forgot the last time he ate or showered, his house was more run down than him, and he forgot what actually living felt like. The drugs were the closest he got to that, a high school friend wouldn't take that away from him.

"You can't keep pushing people away-"

"Screw off. Just, fuck off. If I needed help, I'd ask for it. And I wouldn't ask you." Oliver stared in Jordan's eyes as he spoke. He didn't mean it. Jordan was a good guy, a good friend before Oliver fucked it up like everything else, but at the moment he'd say anything to be alone.

"You know where to find me," Jordan muttered.

And then he was alone. And it was so much worse.

~_~_~_~

A dull ache settled in the back of his throat. Snot coated his fingers and lips while Josh sat over the toilet, trying desperately to throw up the Arby's sandwhich he'd previously eaten.

So he'd been eating more the past few days. He was just so hungry. He'd been meaning to fast again that day, but Dan came home with Arby's and Josh couldn't resist the smell of the roast sandwhich.

Now he sat, whining, as nothing came up but snot and small pieces of his samdwhich.

I'm such an idiot, why didn't I just not eat it? It's that simple!