The Maze Runner Imagines

Newt [35]

Hi, I had a kinda bad day and made yet another mistake LOLLL. So I write my feels out. enjoy lmfao because the ADD life really do be shitty like this somedays, yaknow? I'm just always trying to make people happy but I always mess something up along the way and get the brunt of it all and I'm just tired (WOW LEO VALDEZ VIBES HUH??)

Didn't edit this one so hopefully there's not too many errors :')

"Newt, I screwed up!" She finally broke after all of his questioning. "That's all I can do. I make mistakes."

Tonight, they were up on top of the watchtower as the sun set. It had taken Newt a while to finally find her up here after a couple hours ago when Alby had yelled at her for something Newt didn't exactly know the context of.

The boy stepped closer to his broken down friend. "That's not true and you know it."

"Tell that to Alby!" She said, voice wavering. "I—It's like the second I think I've finally done something right, I fuck it all up. Why do I mess everything up? Everyone else here can do their jobs without any problem. And yet, here I am, forgetting the smallest things and now Alby knows how stupid I am."

Newt watched helplessly as the girl dug fingernails into the back of her skull. She tried so hard to hold the tears back but they were fighting harder to get out. He could feel from where he stood that her brain was on fire and yet her heart was quite literally frozen over with guilt.

"No shit the tomatoes aren't growing! Y/N forgot about that section of the garden for three days and now they're scorched. Yeah! The water isn't clean because Y/N forgot to check which bin held the clean water and which one we wash our hands in! Oh? Y/N let the new Greenie take a day off from the gardens because she knew he was tired but forgot to tell Alby? Yeah, stupid!" She cried. "Fucking stupid."

Newt stared at Y/N for a moment. His lungs felt tight in his chest. Sure, Y/N was forgetful. She made mistakes, but so did everyone here. Though, she only ever saw her own. Sometimes, Y/N did things that were unpredictable and maybe immature or not thought out. That wasn't something she could help though. Besides, all that mattered to Newt was that she was a hard worker and that there was only good in her heart. She only had good intentions.

She forgot to water the tomatoes because Zart had mentioned he was worried about the plants on the other side of the garden drying out, so she kept a close eye on them. She washed her hands in the bin of drinking water because she was distractedly yelling out to let Frypan know she'd be there right away to help him with a big dinner. She forgot to tell Alby about letting that Greenie take the day off because she was worried he was sick. That was all she could think about while also trying to make sure she got all of his jobs done.

Yes, she made mistakes. But they were all pure in heart. She never did things to hurt anyone or sabotage the Glade. She was just trying to do what was right.

Newt reached out and pulled Y/N closer to him. She lowered her head and it fell against his chest. A small sob left her body. "I'm trying."

"I know, love." He whispered. "I know. You're trying more than the rest of us combined."

"And I still. Mess. It. Up." She gently knocked her head against his chest with each word. She was beyond frustrated and upset at this point. She was giving up.

"Hey," Newt lifted her off of his chest and cupped her face in his hands. He swiped her cheek with his thumb. "All of those mistakes you talk about aren't something to beat yourself up over, alright? You were just trying to help other people and they came with trivial consequences."

"But why do I always mess up?" She closed her eyes tight. "Why is it always me? Why am I the one always forgetting things?"

"Not all of our brains work exactly the same. I know you know that." He said softly. "You need to forgive yourself sometimes."

"That's really hard to do," Y/N grimaced. "I feel it," She point to the centre of her chest. "I don't just think it, I feel it—in here. I feel all of the things people are angry at me for in here."

"No one is angry at you, Y/N." Newt tilt his head a little. "Alby might come across a little strong, but the truth is he's just grumpy all the time. You think he doesn't dwell over his own mistakes?"

Y/N was quiet.

"You think I don't dwell over my own?" He asked sincerely.

That was what seemed to hit closest to home for the girl. She looked up with watery eyes and then lowered them again, almost in shame. "Okay." She sighed. "I messed up. But I'm not a bad person."

"There you go," He coaxed, feeling her mind shifting a little. "What happens out there," He point out to the Glade. "Changes nothing of what's in here. It's good." The boy point at her heart.

"You can't honestly believe anyone hates you when all you are is kind. You just want the best for everyone and if they can't see that, that's their own problem to resolve." He pulled the girl in for one last tight embrace.

Muffled in his shirt, she mumbled a soft thank you to her friend.

When he released his grasp, Y/N still looked a little torn up. He smiled sadly. How someone could be hurt so badly and believe that they were a terrible person for only trying to do what was right truly pained him. She still needed time for this to clear out of her system. "Should we stay up here a while still?"

"Yeah," Y/N let out a soft, stifled, yet freeing laugh. "Yeah, I think we should."