Forever, Yours.{KTH FF}

Chapter twenty one/Support

Lauren

I tugged on matchstick jeans and ballet flats, wrapped a Hally-blue silk scarf around my waist, up over my torso, then tied the ends behind my neck to fashion a halter-style blouse.

I skipped downstairs.

I'm heading out, folks!

Breakfast?

Nah. See ya this weekend!

Tae waited for me outdoor. No one feature makes him so handsome, though his eyes come close. People often speak of the colour of eyes, as if that were of importance, yet his would be beautiful in any shade. From them comes an intensity, an honesty, a gentleness. Perhaps this is what is meant by a gentleman, not one of weakness or trite politeness, but one of great spirit and noble ways. What he is, what is beautiful about him, comes from deep within; it makes me want to feel how his lips move in a kiss, how his hands follow the curves of my body. As each year passes the lines will deepen upon his face, he will be more handsome still, as if his soul shines through his skin.

He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice. He was handsome from his generous opinions to the touch of his hand upon my own. I loved the way his voice quickened when he sparkled with a new idea, or was so enjoying one of mine that he lost himself for a moment and quite forgot the mask he wore for others. So I gave him my heart and kept his safe, that's the way it was.

Hello cherie!

Hello to you too.

We got into the car and he stared at me through the rear view mirror.

You okay, Lauren?

I'm fine. Just missing someone.

Male or female?

He sipped from his milkshake.

Male.

Making choking noises he abruptly halted the car and spun towards me.

My elder brother, you idiot.

He sighed and continued ahead.

Where is he?

So close and yet so far. My mom doesn't accept him as his own, not anymore.

Why don't you talk to her?

I did but then again...I have to restrain myself from speaking too much just in case they decide to throw me out too. They are my only family.

He squeezes my hand and drives in silence to the office.

Let's go.

Alright, Mr. Kim.

He lets out a small laugh and moves ahead.

1 pm

You've been distracted since morning, Lauren.

I look up to meet his concerned eyes and put away the files that I'd been working on. He approaches me and slides down in a chair.

Come on. Pretend that I'm your mum. Speak out anything that's on your mind.

That's not-

Yah Lauren.

Fine.

He gives me an encouraging smile.

Mom. You don’t understand, you don’t ever hear what I’m trying to say to you. It’s always a one-way conversation. First, you come at me and complain about all the things you think I’m not doing and you do this to get me angry because you think by getting me angry it’s going to somehow make me work harder for what I want in my life and you’re wrong. I’m sorry, but you’re so wrong. That’s not the way to help me move forward. It’s not. Can’t you ever just be my friend and support me by giving me encouragement? Do you have any idea how impossible what I’m going after already is? Do you? it’s so damn hard and I can use some kindness…just some; you’re my mother, you know, I–all I ask is that you stop trying to get so damn strategy oriented with me and instead work with me, give me sound advice, if you have any, cause coming down on me doesn’t help. I’m not asking you to hand feed me, but be there for me the way I need you to be…there…you happy? Now you know what’s bothering me.

Getting back to reality I give him a shrug. He gives me a thumbs up and we get back to work.