Forever, Yours.{KTH FF}

Chapter seventeen/Confession

Lauren

We glided around the room making sure that the guests were comfortable. Most of Taehyung's ex bandmates were present at the venue but He never arrived.

At around 9.00 PM, Tae guided me to a quiet corner of the bar and looked at me questioning.

You'll have?

Just a Strawberry daiquiri, please.

He turned to the bartender and placed our orders giving him a gentle smile.

Downing my drink I looked at him expectantly.

Taking my hand in his he tucked me towards him.

Let's go. I've something to show you.

Nodding in affirmation I strolled off behind him, making my way through the crowd.

We sat by the fountain in silence. The sky clouded just as my head had been.

What are we?

His voice had startled me and my brain was yet to process what he'd said.

Huh?

What am I to you?

The weight of his words finally struck me and I struggled to find the right words.

Uh...I...

He turned his gaze away from me and stared blankly at the sky nodding to himself.

You're yet to know me, Tae...

I'm more than eager to...only if you let me.

Tae...

He gave me a sad smile.

I know that you have your secrets and I'm ready to accept that...it's just..

I'm the one responsible for my broken family...he...my brother was a celebrity...I was young and he thought that his fame restrained me...

~~Flashback~~

A very young me and my mom sits in the kitchen. Mother is just back from the market.

Mom. Why did you have to bring home pizza?

She looks at me puzzled.

You can eat Salad, my dear. It's healthier. You're on a diet, no?

Yes, I know that I can have salad instead, and salad is only 200 calories. It has vegetables and it’s good for me. But if I only ate one slice of pizza, that’s only 300 calories.

I pause and look at her.

Right, plus what did I have in the morning?

Pancakes, honey.

Well, I had four pancakes. There are 175 calories in one pancake, times four. Wait a sec.

I calculate.

700 calories. I ate 700 calories worth of pancakes. Oh yeah, and then syrup, which is about 100 calories, plus butter, which is 80 calories a teaspoon, then milk, 130 calories. That’s 1010 calories. Then I had four cookies at lunch. 180 times four, which is 720 calories, plus breakfast...

I start calculating, again and mom gives me an irritated look.

So 1730 calories. If I eat that pizza, I will have eaten more than 2000 calories. So, salad, or pizza…salad or pizza. That pizza would taste sooo good, and you hardly ever bring home pizza. 2000 calories isn’t even a pound. I could be healthy tomorrow. Just look at all that goody goodness. The warm mouthwatering softness of the bread, smothered in rich beautiful tomato sauce, with the essence of pepperoni delicately intertwined and caressed in a beautiful blanket of cheese.

I pout as reality strikes.

But, I am a fat ass.

No sweetie, you aren't!

No, mom. It’s true. That’s why those girls keep calling me names, and everyone keeps sneering at me any time I walk by. Even my best friend won’t talk to me anymore, the humiliation is probably too much for her. Or maybe she just got tired of defending me. They are more interested in Oppa. They say that I'm not worth being his sister. But seriously to just wake up one day and end a friendship because of how popular someone is. Who does that? I mean aren’t we in a day and age where it’s okay to be different? Why can’t people talk to me and get to know me instead of talking about me and making up stories. But who am I kidding if some kid accused me of eating seven times a day they wouldn’t be wrong. I have done that before. What is wrong with me? I hate my body. I hate getting on a scale and feeling like it’s screaming at me to get off. And I hate these lines that rip through my body. I hate every part of me.

Don't say that my darling. You are just fine. You are beautiful.

No, mom. I have to say it. I have to say it out loud. I’m starving…but I am not going to eat that pizza. I’m going to be healthy. For me. And I’m doing it today not tomorrow. Give me that salad.

~~Flashback ends~~

...he was wrong. I was the one who was afraid to fly, a coward. He left our family hoping that I'd be able to get back to who I was. Guess what? Lil Lauren freaked out again and flew off to China.

Who is your brother?

It's almost 10...time to seal the deal and make some money. As for who you are...

I pin him with my gaze and pat his shoulder.

Plucking a Chrysanthemum from the decorative vases I was on my knee.

Will you be my boyfriend, boss?

Was that an order, Ms. Moon?

I suppose.

He grabs the flower and pulls me into a hug.

As you wish, my lady.

He whispered in my ear making it go red.