Consequences Of The Heart.

Chapter 21: Right Place, Right Time

I had no idea how I was going to write off James seeing TJ kiss me. It was impossible, it had to be. It was thick tension in the silence, the type that you didn't even need paper to cut; your simple finger would do. I went over ways on how to approach the topic but came up empty-handed. At this point, I was way past panicking. Every small plan I had until this awkward point started with one basic action: TJ leaving me and James so that I could untangle this emotional mess I created.

"TJ. Would you mind showing yourself out." Usually I wouldn't have been this blunt with anyone. Rude maybe, but being straightforward wasn't my thing. Beating around the bush has become a hobby of mine but extreme situations -which this one had surpassed- calls for extreme measures. Even James seemed a little taken aback from my question but still looked consistently distressed. TJ moved out without another word and made sure he locked the door behind him. "James, just-"

"No, can I speak?" I nodded. He wasn't harsh but rather just delicate and calm. He was quite composed, unlike me if I was in his shoes. I mean one of your good friends who you didn't know was bisexual just kissed a guy in front of you. I mean, it was pretty dire. I would have freaked out. I mean, at this point, even I don't know how I managed to scrape past six academic years, dating a decent number of guys that go to the same school and still get away without a single person knowing. Either I was really smart and sneaky which isn't very likely to be honest, or they were just incredibly oblivious, which wouldn't surprise me too much for a series of straights. But then, to interrupt my thought process, James did something I thought I wouldn't see until the day he kissed Lily Evans, which I had faith was going to happen: stutter. "How l- long. How long have you n-known?" I assumed he was talking about when I knew I was bisexual. I mean, duh, what else would he be talking about under the circumstances. Idiot. I whispered a small 'before I met you' to get the awkward questionnaire out of the way. James buried his face into his hands at the answer. He seemed sad, perhaps it was because he thought I didn't trust him enough to tell him, or maybe it was because he felt betrayed. Whatever was causing his melancholy vibe was long-lived. "Does Lily know?" I should have predicted that was going to be one of the early questions. So I tried to soften the blow a little in case he did feel betrayed. 'She's the only one.' It seemed to have worked because at least now he was fiddling with his fingers instead of covering his face. Improvement! Wow, even my mind can't be sarcastic right now without feeling like imploding. "Why didn't you tell me?" He sounded a little desperate and his words came out throaty. I knew that voice all too well from holding back tears.

"Full disclosure, I didn't know how you would react. Sure, we live in the seventies and people are more open minded I guess but how could I have known about your views on the topic. We never talk about it, or even mention it. If it makes you feel better, I didn't tell Lily, 11 year old her figured it out somehow." He let out a sound which could either be a sob or a chuckle which either means I did well or really bad. I think it was good so we are going with good. Fantastic. His voice eased a little but I could tell when he blinked a few droplets accumulated in his eyes. He then carried on with the questions but with a lighter tone which I was grateful for. He carried on with a small and innocent smile creeping up on his face but they were less of questions and more of statements, 'I'm guessing I missed your first kiss then?' He looked a little disappointed but did his best to hide it. I gulped loudly which I had never done before unless it was for a joke. "I'm really sorry James, I know it was a big deal for you." I didn't know how else to respond, but he put his hand up in slight objection. 'It's fine, really. As long as there are no more secrets.' And with that, there was an obstruction: the double doors opened to reveal a proud Lily and trailing behind her was an ashamed, "Sirius." I hadn't seen him, and I mean properly seen him without running off with some lame excuse or through the haze of having just woken up for a while now, much too long for my liking.

"Hey Re. James." He greeted while bowing his head in gestures. "I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for missing the full moon. I hope you can forgive me." It was odd hearing what sounded like a pre-planned speech yet all the while was incredibly genuine. It was nice, nay fulfilling to see him again and James was practically beaming and radiating with pure joy. But before either of us could say anything, he had run out of the room without as much as a 'goodbye'. James proceeded to physically sink into his chair so I gestured for Lily to go console him since I couldn't move without whining like a distressed dog. The irony.

"Lils?" James started speaking a few seconds later that he probably spent trying to compose himself after the prior encounter. Also I could've sworn I saw a small smirk. "I know Remus' big secret." That was positively out of nowhere but I applaud him -inwardly of course- for trying to alleviate the stress of the room especially when he was still suffering the consequences of the heart.

"Well duh, did you forget the whole you becoming a stag thing you did because of it?" I giggled in my seat that she hadn't figured the situation out.

"The other big secret he means." She looks at me with suspicious eyes when stammers out something along the lines of 'he- how, huh?' I think she was surprised at how he came to know and rightfully so, it was an unusual thing. "TJ." This gave her cheek creases a small amount of relief.

"Okay, he was here. But how does that explain James. He's not really one to pick up on sexual tension." James clutched his chest in fake offence.

"First of all, there is NO, and I mean NO sexual tension. And secondly, he just so happened to walk in when TJ was feeling particularly horny and advancing.

Just a right place at the right time sort of phenomenon."

PS. TJ's collage.
The doughnuts are supposed to symbolise how sweet he actually island that even if you do take away the powdered sugar, he is still sweet and it's not like a disguise or facade.
The charcoal is meant to show he feels wasted. And artificial. Like he's already been burnt through and used up and he has nothing more to give.
The moon is kinda like *foreshadowing* which you guys will find out before, and no it is the farthest from what you think it is. Or is it?
The jellyfish shows how he doesn't have anger inside him, but rather when he loses it and is provoked, he is going to bring it and probably win.
The anthrophobia is kind of self explanatory considering there is legit a definition given below it.
And lastly, the water and rocks are kind of double meaning, maybe. So the way I see it, his life kind of feels like it's just going by and he has no control over it, like he's the rocks and secondly, when the seas -metaphorical and literal- get rough, he, like a rock, just kinda sways and tends to be forced to go with the flow.

Word Count:- 1361

Love, Kale.