Brianna : I know I messed up. But I also know we were good together. Lemme make things right.
Brianna:I'll do anything.
I sighed as I closed the message and locked my phone starring out the window at nothing but city lights.
Brianna... she was like the blunt I was smoking.
I thought as I exhaled a cloud of smoke out the window.
She used to get me high, numbed my pain, made everything feel so... light and good. But all that was only a cover up, waiting for you to get back to reality then break you down.
It was late, nearing midnight and I was still in Vee's room. I keep thinking, maybe if I wait just a little longer she'll finally wake up. Smile at me and ask me to get her a pizza, cos I know my baby must be hungry. These tubes ain't it, but I also know she isn't around right now.
She's here but she's somewhere else, just like I am . Only difference is I'm still conscious and can feel every fucked up thing that life puts in my way.
I walked over to her bed and starred at her for a while. Shit, she looked so peaceful and here I was living out hell on earth.
I laughed lowly as I felt a tear stinging my eyes.
"You gotta get up for me mama's. I need you back. I need you to wakeup. I'm not doing this shit without you."
I said as I held her hand my voice breaking.
I checked the time on her monitor, it was a few minutes to 12a.m.
I pecked her lips and neck multiple times. She usually held onto my head when I did that, but she just layed there not moving an inch and I could feel my heart break all over again.
I love you.
I thought out loud as I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door. I walked into the alley,it was quiet. The receptionist was sitting reading a book, she did that every night she was on duty. I learned the walls of this hospital so well over the past weeks you could swear I own this place.
I gave her a weak smile as I headed for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."
She said looking up from her book.
"Have a goodnight.Shit. "
I said patting my pockets before I could walk out.
I forgot my keys.
I walked back into the room and turned on the light. The monitor was now a second from turning to 12.00. I walked over to the table and grabbed my keys. I turned to head out and stopped... I felt a presence. Something I haven't felt in this room since she was admitted.
I turned back around and froze in my steps.
She was awake, her eyes were open and she was starring right at me.
Almost as if she was trying to make out who I was. It was quite.
"Babe."
She finally said and I lost it. My heart felt so heavy. Tears escaped my eyes once again as I starred at her, processing what just happened.
"Shit." I said out of habit as I wiped my eyes.
"Mama's... you awake."
I said walking over to her and burieng my face in her neck.
"I love you so much babe. I thought I lost you for a, second."
I mumbled kissing her neck. I was lying, it felt longer then a second. It felt like years of breathing with a mask on.
