rainbows

twenty five

"Green." Somebody whispers. My eyes snap open, it's Ryan. I sigh and look around. I'm not on my bed, all I can see around me are trees and benches. Did I sleep in the park? Rubbing my eyes I sit up.

"What's this?" He asks picking up the journal. In a swift motion, I snatch it away.

"Nothing," I say shaking my head. I'll probably look dumb telling him all this.

"Then." He points at the camera "what is that doing here?"

"Ugh." I pull at my hair. "Just give me a few minutes," I say and lay down again.

"Okay." He shrugs and starts laying down next to me. I scoot a little to make the distance between us.
I don't want yesterday's happenings to take place again, I don't like physical affection and I hate the fact that I liked it yesterday.

He puts his arms behind his head and looks at me "Don't you hate birds?"

"Never thought of it but yeah, they're pretty annoying."  I nod.

"Especially pigeons." He speaks up the moment I say "Especially pigeons."  We both turn to each other and start laughing.

"I had a fight with Lexi," I say after a few moments.

"Uh-huh?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Yep."

"Something about last night?" He asks.

I nod.

"Yeah. She's a self-centred human being." I roll my eyes.

"Stop being delusional." He laughs. Laughs. I'm going to kill him.

"Fuck off," I reply standing up and start walking. Fuck this, he infuriates me!

"Wait." He gets up and follows me "I was just joking, chill woman."

I don't listen to him.

"Oh, c'mon at least tell me the reason!" He shouts " you don't get to be like this, ALWAYS!"

I stop mid-track and turn around. "You!" I point at him.

"Me?!" He throws his hands in the air.

"Ugh!" I stomp my feet. "Fine!"

"Good." He rolls his eyes and drags me inside.

"She got stood up yesterday by some guy and was crying the whole freaking time as if he is her whole world. And when I called her out on her stupid behaviour she said" I mimic her voice "I have problems too."

He keeps on staring at me blankly "okay?"

"What do you mean okay?" I position fingers at my chest "I have problems too. But nobody seems to care." I tug at my hair.

"It's driving me insane!" I cry hysterically. I hate how I just went from being composed to this in a matter of minutes.

"Alyssa." Ryan slowly whispers as he walks towards me. He puts his hands on my shoulders. I refuse to cry in front of him or anyone for that matter. I don't cry, crying is for weak people!

I keep on staring at the ground. He doesn't say anything, slowly he wraps his hands around me. Wait. Is he hugging me? I stand there frozen. I don't do anything but I don't push him away either. His scent is all I can smell, he smells like choco-chip cookies. I have no clue how to explain it but he does.

I put my head on his shoulder as he rubs his hands on my back. His hair is on my face tickling me. I sniffle a little and he chuckles pulling away. I hate the cold feeling that comes with it.

"You smell like choco-chip cookies," I tell him.

"You're cute." He replies.

My eyes widen at his words. Did he just compliment me?

I gag at him picking up my camera and journal.

"I tried doing these but I just." I stare into his weirdly dark but brown eyes " I just, I couldn't." I shake my head.

"It's okay." He reassures me. "It takes time."

"Yeah. whatever, it's stupid." I put them away in the corner.

"Oh no! It isn't." He speaks up

"Listen here, Alyssa." He stares into my eyes deeply. His ginger hair falling on his forehead. "It's not stupid. If you like it or you want to do it it's..it's not stupid. You're not stupid for trying out new things."

I nod my head violently because I have nothing to say. He just comes up with things like that and asks me how I AM the one who knows stuff like that. He's the one who's delusional.

"Yeah," I whisper.

"Did some unknown caller called you today?" He asks causing me to shoot my head up. This is something suspicious so I deny.

"Um no."

He eyes me for a moment as if he saw the lie but doesn't say anything "Oh okay."

"Cool."

"Where's Chase?" I ask sitting down. He looks at me weirdly before answering "I don't know. Why?"

"Just asking." I shrug.

"Do you have anything to do today?" He asks

"Seriously? That's a stupid question." I look at him "Of course not."

"Where do you go when you're bored?" He asks and without any hesitation, I answer him "The library."
He stands up and asks me to follow him.

"Where are you going?" I question, a little confused. What happened to him all of a sudden?

"We. Alyssa. We. Us." He moves his hands between us "Are going to the library. Because I have nothing to do too."

"No" I scream as I run to him. "Christine will be there."

He puts his hands on his hips giving me the look and says "Fuck Christine. She won't do shit to us."

But oh boy, how wrong we were.