rainbows

five

"I think whatever Christine said is true and one should read a lot. Like the food, we should consume it. Children who learn a lot from us elders,  they copy our actions. They're like the mud, you can shape them as you like. Give a child a book and watch them conquer the world, Give a child a gun and watch them destroy the world."

I just blabbered it all. I don't even want to know how bad it sounded. My thoughts in my mind look pretty good, But the moment I start speaking they turn into the most horrific version of themselves in.

"She's right," Christine says and ends the conversation. Ryan turns the camera off.

"Thankyou" I politely say and gesture for Ryan to leave. I don't think I can stand here anymore.

"Bye." Ryan waves to her as we exit the library. He smiles a genuine smile to me and sits on his bicycle. Genuine smile? Ugh, Shutup Alyssa.

"I don't think I like her."
Ryan looks towards me "Who? Christine?"

"Yeah." I shove my hands in my pockets. "She seemed pretty stupid, she went from * I don't like books* to *get lost in books* real quick. That's pretty weird."

Ryan shakes his head "People are meant to be weird."

"Or she's just a stupid old lady," I say as I kick a rock beside me. We're just walking, Wait where are we going?

"Where are we going?" I ask

He looks at his watch "It's 2:48. I'm hungry. Want to grab a bite before we move onto our next stop?"

"Okay." The last meal I consumed was breakfast. I lost my appetite because of nervousness. Sucks, A lot.

"Subway's a few metres away." He says

"Okay," I say and start zigzagging my way on the pavement. I can't help it.
Ryan notices it but doesn't say anything.

We walk into subway and I sit beside a mother and her twin daughters. I've always been fond of little kids.
I smile at the two of them.

"You like kids?" Ryan asks me as he slides onto the bench in front of me.

"Yeah," I say. Looking at the bill in his hand realisation strikes me, "Cancel my order" I stand up and snatch the bill from his hand.

"What?" He looks confused

I move towards the counter worried. "Excuse me, can you cancel my order."

Ryan is behind me "Whoa, what? wait."

"I don't have any money right now, I can't pay you." This is shit. I don't want him to know I'm just here because he paid.

"It's okay." He says

"No, it's not."

"Okay listen, you can pay tomorrow." He proposes

"I'm not coming tomorrow." He shakes his head at this " I mean I don't know if I'm coming, I mean I don't know what to do."

"Look, just think about it."

"I—I" I'm lost at words. "I—Okay." I can't do anything but agree with him for now. I'm not going to tell him I'm not coming back tomorrow.

He motions me to sit on our places. The lady beside us with her kids keeps on staring at me as if something wrong happened.

"There's a park nearby, we can sit there instead of here" he offers. Ryan brings our sandwiches from the counter. He's just trying to mask the embarrassing stunt I pulled of right now. God Alyssa, why are you like this?

"Yeah, Okay."

We exit. The kids keep on staring at me.
Ugh,
I hate kids.

The park has two benches. One of them is filled so we sit on the other one. It's only before I've taken a few bites it starts raining. Ryan takes my arm as starts running inside a shed in the park. Most of the people from the park are coming to take shelter. The shed's occupied so both of us sit on the ground. We eat our sandwiches in silence. The sun comes up after a few minutes but the rain's still there.

"The weather today is pretty weird," I say

"Yeah because Alyssa Green stepped out of her house," Ryan says

I laugh. It's a real laugh. It's good to have someone other than Lexi with me for once.

"Look at the rainbow." I point at the sky

"Where?" He asks

"There, in the east." I point out again.

"Beautiful." He says looking at it

"Yeah," I say looking at it. It truly is beautiful. It's raining, there's the sun in the sky, the rainbow's formed too. Everything is so messy yet so beautiful.

I hear the click of the camera. Ryan is clicking pictures of the rainbow. He moves the camera towards him and captures himself goofily eating the sandwich, he brings it towards me but I cover the screen and laugh.

"You remember that stupid thing our teachers taught us to remember the colours of the rainbow." He says

"Yeah.VIBGYOR." I laugh "Pretty stupid. My whole life I've been smitten by the way the sky, stars, clouds, rainbows look."

"What about rainbows? That the white light gets distributed into seven different parts?"  He asks with curious eyes

"I think rainbows are like humans. A person is like a white light, made up of different things, versions of themselves, mistakes, hardships, Just like the rainbow. Each colour is different but is equally important in order to make the white light. Each part of you is equally important in order to make you, you."

Ryan keeps on staring me. "I seriously want to know how the hell do you think such beautiful thoughts"

"Been anti-social for mostly my whole life, I have a lot here." I tap on my head and smile.

Ryan smiles a little and stands up. He offers me his hand. I don't take it. I stand up on my own.

"So where to next?" I ask

"The Art Museum." He replies

"Art museum?"

"Yes." He replies and starts walking.

"Okay," I reply and run to keep up with him. It's not that bad having someone to talk to except Lexi and me, Alyssa Green can't believe just said that in my mind.