Something Different Something More (ON HOLD)

Chapter Seventeen

Yasmeen's POV

I wake up with a fever. My face feels hot, maybe because I spent all night crying my eyes out. I'm relieved that he didn't come back to look for me because I knew that I wouldn't have been able to fight him.

I sit up from my bed suddenly feeling nauseous. I grab a bottle of water beside my bed and chugged it down. I still wasn't feeling better. Before I knew what was going on, I run to the bathroom spilling out my guts. My empty stomach feels like it's on fire, my head keeps spinning and the burning in my chest doesn't want to go away.

I stand up but almost fall. I feel so weak. What is happening to me? I remember that I haven't had anything to eat since yesterday's breakfast. I don't feel like going to work today, I think I'll stay home.

I drag myself down to the stairs and into the kitchen. I halt in my tracks. My husband was sitting on the dining table drinking a cup of coffee. Wasn't he supposed to be at work? I purposely do not wake up until I'm sure that he has left and I'm glad that he doesn't try to wake me up.

"Why are you standing there like a zombie? I'm hungry." He barks.

I recover from my trance and without saying a word to him, I started moving around the kitchen. I truly do not have the strength to cook anything, I still feel dizzy.

"I'm sorry I'm not feeling so well today." I say timidly.

"And so?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Can I microwave yesterday's rice for you?"

He drops the mug of coffee he's holding and stares right into my face and says calmly. "Do I look like someone who eats leftovers?"

I shake my head. I'm boiling inside. I truly do not recognize myself anymore. The old Yasmeen would never let a man put his hands on her, the old Yasmeen would never let a man downgrade her but this new Yasmeen was just a coward. The new Yasmeen takes everything that is being dished out to her. The new Yasmeen is broken.

To avoid a confrontation that would lead to him losing his temper and using his fists, I begin to peel some potatoes to fry. I can still feel his gaze on my back and it makes the hairs on my back stand. He terrifies me in a way I cannot begin to explain. I knew he wasn't a good person but I thought he actually liked me.

After Yazeed disappeared and I succumbed to my faith of marrying Salman, I genuinely wanted to give him a chance. And I did. I tried my best and he was loving at first but when I was unresponsive sometimes, or when I became sad thinking about Yazeed, he began to resent me. He began to resent me for not being able to love him, for loving someone else instead of him.

There was a time I mistakenly called him Yazeed and that was the first time he hit me. I wasn't expecting it. I was dumbfounded but I couldn't blame him at that point. I disrespected him by calling another man's name. So I let that slide because he apologized. He told me how would I feel if someone I love loves somebody else? How would I feel if the person I loved called another man's name in her dreams? I felt bad. I apologized to him because I knew I wasn't being fair to him.

Life continued. I tried to forget about Yazeed amd focus on my marriage. What is done is done, Salman was my destiny not Yazeed so I decided to make peace with that but I just couldn't.

The beating started little by little, a shove here, a punch there, a kick to the side, breaking vases. And I took all of it, because I felt like I deserved it but I know that I don't. Nothing justifies a man beating his wife, nothing!

I'm about to start frying the chips when a wave of dizziness hit me and I had to stagger back. The bowl of potatoes fell and made a splash with water pouring everywhere. Salman stands up angrily, shoving the chair so violently I flinch.