Something Different Something More (ON HOLD)

Chapter Sixteen

Yasmeen

One year later

They say that a lot can change in a year. That a lot can happen in a year and that statement has never been more truer.

My marriage to Salman is getting to a year now and I won't say that I am happy or that I am in love with my husband. I am just simply existing, taking each day as it comes with my heart yearning for only one person, the one person who disappeared from my life without a goodbye, without any trace.

I wonder if he is okay. I wonder if he still thinks of me. I blame myself for him leaving, if I had just fought Baba harder and not agreed to the wedding, maybe he'd still be here and maybe we'd be together.

But sometimes I am angry at him, so angry and mad at him for just leaving but the ache of missing him douses the flame of my anger. I just hope that he is okay.

"Hey bestyyy!" Ummi shouts barging into my office. My fashion house El~Yass which was now completed and flourishing. Yazid's design made my every dream come alive. It's just so sad that he isn't here to see the masterpiece.

"UmmiLo, what's up? Am I safe?" A small smile playing on my lips as I sank further down into my comfy chair.

She plopped herself on the chair opposite mine and looked closely at my face.

"What happened to your eye?" She asked.

I groaned. She was way too observant for my liking.

I laughed it off. "Oh that? I even thought my makeup concealed it. I bumped into that cursed kitchen cabinet. You know, that one that your brother never closes."

She narrowed her eyes as if she doesn't believe me but then she just gave a wide smile. "You're so clumsy. How is that brother of mine? I hardly ever see him anymore."

I sigh in relief when she changes the subject. "I know right! Clumsy me. Your brother is fine just a bit grumpy. He lost that deal he was working hard on."

She rolled her eyes. "Ah poor him. I know how he gets when things don't go his way. Anyways how are you and don't give me that I am fine bullshit, I know you better than that."

I sit up from my chair and held her hands. "I am truly fine UmmiLo," I say trying to stop my voice from cracking. "It's just that.."

I sigh and try to pull my hands from hers but she held on tighter. "Talk to me, you know you can always talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

"I just miss him sometimes you know? I know I shouldn't. I am married. To your brother and I know how weird it is that I am telling you that I still think about another man but I can't help it. I can't help worrying. It keeps me up at night most days."

She kept quiet for a moment,her face turning serious. "I understand how you feel Yas, and it's okay. You have no control over what your mind wanders to. You have no control over whom your heart chooses to love but what you have control over is making the effort to work on your relationship with my brother. It's probably not what you want to hear but it has to be said. Yazeed left you, that was his choice and you have a choice as well, to move on. You are already married, what's done cannot be undone, so please try to make it work. Forever is a long time to be unhappy."

She will never understand. She is not in my situation which is why it is so easy for her to say all that but I don't tell her that.

"I've heard you O wise UmmiLo. Thank you for gracing me with such wise words. What will I ever do without you."

Her face relaxes. "Ah well, if I don't give you wise words, who will?"