Showtime (A Sanscest Story)

The Crippling Defeat

"I-I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..." Cross whispered over and over as he held his head. He hiccuped and continued crying. His knife had dissipated the moment it hit the floor. Nightmare was just a shaking head and torso as he laid against the wall. "I'm so sorry..."

"I know." Nightmare replied quietly. He couldn't move. "I don't blame you." Cross seemed absolutely devastated. He couldn't even look at Nightmare. The darker's limbs were slowly bubbling back. It would be a long time before they returned. Cross hiccuped again. He felt awful.

"Why did you lie to me?" Cross asked, his voice pained. "Y-You said you would stop hurting people and you didn't!" He inhaled shakily. "I-I was mad, b-b-but I didn't want to hurt you like this!!"

"The problem with being a monster that only feeds off negativity, is that you always need a constant supply of it. I need fear and hatred to survive." Nightmare said quietly. "And I need a lot. I would stop for you if I could." He didn't see any other way besides what he was doing. He looked down. "I do love you, Cross. And that kind of positivity is weakening me."

Cross stared at him. He seemed dismayed and afraid. Nightmare sighed and focused on regrowing one of his arms first. With all his attention focused on it, it grew back within a minute. He reached out to Cross. His magic returned to rebuilding the rest of his body as Cross reached out as well.

"I'm very broken inside. Inside of this is my true body, which would surely not survive if I reverted back to it." Nightmare said quietly. Part of the sludge on his skull began to peel away. It revealed a black-stained, awfully cracked skull with a rusted crown. The purple eyelight seemed in pain and Nightmare inhaled shakily. Cross slipped his fingers through Nightmare's.

His hand was shaking badly. He reached out with his other one towards the exposed part of Nightmare's face. He paused before reaching it, seeming hesitant. Nightmare slowly lowered his head to signal that it was alright. He flinched slightly as he felt Cross' hand against his cheek. He leaned his head into it quietly.

"Why didn't you let it kill me?" He asked, staring evenly at Cross. Cross looked back at him with such pain and dismay that Nightmare understood. "If you need to cry again, Cross, it's alright to do so." The permission seemed to be all he needed and Cross broke down into tears once more.

Nightmare sighed and reached out, using his thumb to wipe away Cross' tears. The other hiccuped and sobbed. "Thank you for not letting it take my life, Cross." The monochrome skeleton looked up at him with teary eyes and whispered that he never would've forgiven himself.

"I-I-I know you've c-c-caused so much pain a-a-and suffering, but the-the thought of killing you... I can't do it." Cross whimpered out. "And I know it's because you favor me, but I don't care. You've taken care of me and have been nothing but kind to me... And I feel awful for trying to kill you, but I feel awful for loving you too."

Nightmare stared at him. "I know, Cross. I know and I'm sorry." He closed his eye and turned his head away. "I can try to find you somewhere else to live. I'll..." A lump formed in his throat and he managed to speak past it. "I'll allow you to break your contract." Cross' wide eyes raised to him and Nightmare nodded. "I could find you another home. One without me. It would be for the better."

"N-No... how could I live anywhere without you now?" Cross hiccuped and gave a weak laugh. "Aren't I pathetic? Becoming attached so quickly." Nightmare stared at him before sighing and reaching out, tugging Cross into a one-armed hug.

"Then I must be pathetic as well." He murmured. Cross' teary face slightly tinted purple as the sludge covered up Nightmare's exposed white skull again. He shakily reached up and held Nightmare's hoodie with shaking, bony fingers. He buried his face in his chest. He opened his mouth again, but Nightmare gave him a comforting squeeze and shook his head.

"You don't need to keep apologizing." He sounded slightly amused and concerned at the same time as he rubbed his back. Cross kept himself shivering against him. Nightmare's other arm grew back and he hugged Cross even tighter. "I know it hurts. And I'm so sorry. But I cannot afford to be weak again."

His gaze darkened and he could hear the giant echo of monsters jeering at him and calling him sickening, nasty things. He couldn't get it out of his head. The sickening, nasty things they'd done to him. He inhaled softly and shakily, as to not disturb Cross or distract him.

He had always been the lesser-known of the two when he and Dream had both been Ringmasters. The lesser-known, the lesser-liked. He'd been weaker and smaller than his brother. But not anymore. He was the Ringmaster now. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. It wasn't about him right now. It was about Cross.

He just wanted Cross to let out all of his distress. He was certain the other would began to bottle it up again anyway. He wanted him to get it all out before he did so. Nightmare continued to rub his back, his legs slowly bubbling back into existence.

He let out a quiet sigh. "Why... why would you like me?? Why...?" Cross was whispering, seeming devastated. Nightmare stared down at him and tipped his head.

"When I look at you, I have an urge to be kind and to protect you. I have never felt this urge with anyone else, so I immediately presumed you were special and it seems like I was correct." Nightmare said, leaning back against the wall. "You are not unlovable, Cross. No matter what anyone has told you before."

The last sentence seemed to catch Cross off guard and he gave a shaky nod. He broke down, crying once again. Nightmare felt a prick of anger, but quickly hid it. He hated Cross' home. Wherever Cross had come from, he wanted to burn it. Whoever had hurt him, he wanted to kill them.

It hurt Nightmare to think that Cross had never been genuinely told that he was loved and wanted. He didn't know why it pissed him off so much. Because he loved him, yes. But also, maybe because Nightmare had never been told that either. He held Cross out by his shoulders and the other cried out in protest, covering his face.

"Pl-Please don't look." He begged desperately. "Please, I'm such an ugly crier!" He had once hand covering his face and the other was on his hood, tugged it over his head more. He hiccuped again and Nightmare could see the purple tears making their way down Cross' face. He stared at him calmly.

Nightmare reached out and slipped his hands under Cross', intertwining their fingers. He gently pulled Cross' hands away from his face. Cross continued to cry and sniffle, begging Nightmare not to look at his face. Nightmare shushed him and assured him it was okay. "You could never be ugly in any way, Cross. Not to me."

A faint purple tinted Cross' cheeks once more and he kept his head ducked. Nightmare continued to stare at him evenly. He undid their fingers on one hand in order to reach out and gently lift Cross' chin. He stared into the odd eyes and leaned forward, pressing their teeth together.

Cross hiccuped in surprise before pressing back against him, his arms weakly moving up to wrap around Nightmare's neck. Nightmare pulled away and pressed his teeth to Cross' cheek, continuing to rub his back. He nudged him and Cross whimpered a little, nuzzling him.

Nightmare felt a little at ease before something made him stop. Cross had frozen and was shaking. The fear that came off of him was piercing and sharp. Delicious, but bittersweet to Nightmare. He didn't want Cross' fear. He didn't want to feed off of Cross.

He gave Cross a quiet squeeze and the other began to sob quietly again. Almost silently, like he was afraid of being heard. Nightmare could sense a large source of anger heading their way. It had to be strong if he could feel it from far away. No doubt Cross could as well. "Cross, speak to me, please." Nightmare said quietly.

Cross hiccuped and his hands dug tighter into Nightmare's hoodie as he shook. He opened his mouth, but no words seemed to be coming out. Nightmare hugged him close and he could just barely hear Cross whisper. Nightmare had never heard someone so breathless with fear and panic.

Normally, he would've loved it. He would've wanted more. But not when it was Cross. He asked Cross to repeat what he'd said a little louder. Cross gulped shakily and nodded, his eyes staring blankly forward as he whispered.

"It's him. He's here."