Forbidden | Ahsoka x Reader

Chapter 36 | Across the Bar

You waited impatiently in the waiting room of the ships medical bay. Lex had called you just prior, informing you he had news on Kass' condition. As soon as you heard his voice from your comlink you were leaping out of your uncomfortable bed and running down the quiet corridors straight for this waiting room.

It was only a couple minutes later that Lex appeared at the door to the treatment room, his head held low, and a datapad held firmly in his left hand.

You gulped. "I don't like the way you came out of that room." You stated blankly, your voice was unsettled. It was impossible not to assume the worst now.

Lex turned to you, making eye contact. You immediately searched the clones eyes, seeking an answer or an emotion.

"I'm sorry General. I-I didn't think we'd lose him." He remained as calm as he could.

Your face falls into the two palms of your hands, and you unearth a loud groan of pain and frustration into them.

You shook your head side to side. "He didn't deserve this." Your blurted.

"None of us do General. But...this is the reality of our lives. We come to get used to it, even though how tragic it is." Lex admits, his voice was smooth and steady as he approached your side. You imagine that Lex must go through these situations too often.

"I don't wanna get used to it." You say. Lex just silently sits next to you on the cold hard bench.

"General, you don't have to answer me if you don't want to. But, did Kass endure any harsh impacts or sudden movements after he got shot?" Lex asks cautiously. You know he did, but that couldn't be the cause of his death, could it?

"Because...Kass died of internal bleeding, and a blaster shot like that is almost impossible to be the only cause for that bleeding." Lex continues.

Now the tears start to emerge. The only reason Kass isn't back with his brothers recovering from a blaster shot is because of your radical escape plan. If you had decided to go back the way you came none of this would've happened! If you just took it simple on your first mission as general, used a normal attack plan, maybe you wouldn't be the person who ended Kass' life!

You stormed out of the waiting room. Lex called after you but you kept on walking straight. As you made a turn, two clones were heading in the opposite direction to you. They both nodded, greeting you with a proper "General." before they walked past you. You couldn't respond. You killed their brother, the only family they have.

As soon as your hand was within reach of the controls to your quarters, you opened the door, stepped inside and shut it immediately.

You grabbed the nearest object and smashed it against the wall, small shards of glass were stuck in your fingers as the drinking glass fell to pieces at your feet.

You could hear your own breathing, it was fast and heavy, but not as fast as your heartbeat. As you slowly walked round the small room your hands felt tingly, excited and active almost. You look down and see tiny flickering sparks of purple light. The tiny shards of glass began to melt and sear your skin.

"Not again." You muttered under your heavy breaths. You knew there was an easy escape to your emotions. You ran to the drawer of the desk and began to hastily search inside. You quickly found it and opened the bottle. You didn't bother to educate yourself on what was a safe amount, so you just threw half a dozen of the small pink pills into your mouth.

Every quarters had their own bottle of insomnia/sleeping pills. In case any trooper or person of high rank experienced a morbid or disturbing day of work. You figured that applies to you.