BLAMELESS | michaeng

Chapter 25- Hurt until you no longer care

"I'm not telling you this because I want something to happen between us." Clarifies Mina, she sounded sure and strong. It was as if she was already at peace with what's happening.

"Well, if I gave in, then that would be cheating." Chuckles Nayeon, sipping on her cup of coffee.

"I'm also not telling you this because I'm heads over heels for you." Continues the younger girl, it seems like she's practiced all her lines before. She seems very confident with every word.

"Well, thank the gods above for that." Chuckles Nayeon.

"My feelings for you are long overdue if that's what you're thinking." Laughs Mina, a hearty laugh. The type of laugh she hadn't experienced in a while. "I just think I deserve closure, you know? Plus you deserve to know the truth, it's a truth that lives in the past at least." Mina makes everything clear.

"First of all, I am flattered. I am thankful." Smiles Nayeon, she may seem immature most of the times but right now she radiates a sisterly vibe.

"Well, you're welcome. It was an experience that I would not recommend anyone to try." Laughs Mina, she's at peace and she feels resolved with her ordeal with Nayeon now.

Both the girls stared at each other, the deafening silence between them is growing more and more. Is this where one throws the punchline and everybody laughs? I'm afraid this isn't a sit-com.

"For the record, I know we wouldn't have worked out." Says Mina out of nowhere. This catches the older girl's attention. Nayeon stared at Mina, the younger girl's statement was in a way controversial.

"It's because I'll always have to compete with your first love. I don't want to put myself through that awful situation." Mina adds.

"You're right. It would have been unfair for you." Replies Nayeon.

This hits Mina, in a way that opened her eyes. In a way, Chaeyoung is just like her. It wasn't Chaeyoung's fault that she caught feelings for someone who couldn't understand even herself. Nayeon was like this, she was battling with feelings for Jeongyeon. Mina was lucky enough to have dodged the awful situation. Son Chaeyoung however, wasn't so lucky. Mina regrets hurting Chaeyoung that way, she knew what she did was awful.

"It would have." Mina replies softly, feeling this sharp digging pain inside her. The realization that she had unconsciously caused pain to Son Chaaeyoung is just hitting her. She always thought of herself as someone who won't cause pain, well, maybe she's wrong.

"Good evening unnies." Son Chaeyoung greets the older girls. She sounds weak, as if she hadn't been eating and sleeping properly for days.

It must have been the depth of the conversation that caused Mina and Nayeon to not notice Chaeyoung go in. Both of them were preoccupied with their own issues. Nayeon stared and smiled at the younger girl, offering her a cup of coffee. Son Chaeyoung was quick to decline the offer, she sounded nice and polite though.

"Yeah, you're right. It seems like you've had a tiring day." Says Im Nayeon, Chaeyoung only nods.

Mina couldn't really say anything, she just stared. She was consumed with guilt, she felt responsible for hurting the poor girl. She can see it Chaeyoung's eyes that the girl doesn't want anything to do with her. It was as if Chaeyoung had cut their ties in her mind.

"Yeah, well, I have to go now. Have a nice evening both of you." Replies Son Chaeyoung as she marched towards her room, dragging her feet with her, the sound of distaste ringing inside the dorm.

_____ 

That night Mina and Nayeon had cleared the air between them. Mina has accepted that she and Nayeon can only be friends and she's happy about it. Her feelings for the older girl are long overdue anyway, so what's the point of tirelessly being stressed about it?