The Whys of Us

42

MJ, Sabina, and Jenner may have managed to take Andy's photos down, but it doesn't mean she's safe at school.

Heads turn when she walks past. They whisper to each other, and they sound so loud Andy thinks she can hear their disgusting words being breathed into her ear. Every step she walks is a step of shame, humiliation, complete degradation, and she feels so, so out of place in her own skin that her body starts itching—itching with the need to hide. Cover herself up.

Johann doesn't talk about it, but Andy's sure he saw the pictures. He smiled at her and said, "Ready to practice?"

Andy nodded.

Waking up this morning was a torture—Andy didn't want to let go of Rhysand. She couldn't speak to him, but her hands fisted his soaked shirt whenever he moved. Rhysand cupped her cheek and said, "Don't force yourself to go to school, sunshine. Please. Stay here if you need to. I'll stay, too."

Andy wanted to yell at him to stay with her.

But he has work. He can't abandon work—even though he offered to.

Her friends had stayed up all night to help her. Rhysand is probably hurting right now—with the way she's hurting.

The truth is...part of why she didn't want to file a lawsuit was because of the risk of bad press. Rhysand would get the backlash, and it would put a dent on his career.

Andy won't let that happen. So she let him go to work, stayed in bed for an hour or so, and then went to shower and dress even though her bones screamed at her to stay put.

Andy finishes her thesis defense. She doesn't know if the professors in the panel saw her pictures, too.

She doesn't know if everyone she sees in the street, across the hallway, in the classroom, along the parking lot—she doesn't know if these people have seen her naked. Stripped. Bare.

Those photos were only for Rhysand to see, and the fact that other people have—it's tearing her apart.

MJ and Sabina see her when they can, and when they don't, they call. They don't force her to talk, and Andy is grateful. When she can be herself again, she'll thank them. She'll thank them a million times.

Even Kat, Bash, Sam, Piper, and even Kyle—they all reach out to her as well. She replies to them with gratitude, and apologizes for not doing so in person.

On the other hand, Jenner doesn't know how to act around her. He still smiles, still calls her sweetheart, but he doesn't know how to talk to her.

It's expected—Andy doesn't talk to anyone.

Even Rhysand doesn't know what to do.

"Sunshine," he starts hesitantly, placing a hand on her arm. "Baby, you want breakfast? You haven't been eating."

There's one thing that's bothering her. It's been on her mind since she decided to be silent.

"When do you delete the pictures?" she asks, turning to him. Her voice is hoarse. Raspy. It sounds like a stranger's voice. She hasn't been using it for more than a week.

Rhysand is surprised, but he answers, "Most right away. But some...I keep in our message window for a few hours because I'm busy with work, but I delete them after that."

Andy—Andy didn't know this.

"I thought you deleted them right after our conversation," she says, sitting up.

Rhysand stares at her. "I'm sorry, I don't—"

Andy's face pales. "Sophia had your phone."

Rhysand's expression doesn't change. "What?"