SCARS (Taehyung FF)

Her

Taehyung's POV

I clenched my eyelids harder. Wanting her soft rosy lips to remove all the darkness inside me. But I knew I can't. And that's how I pulled back leaving her with thousands of questions. She blinked rapidly for a while then looked down at our hands. She stood straight up and started fixing her already fixed dress.

One side of me wanted her to ask why I did that on the other hand, other side of me didn't want to open up. I really am useless. As an idol and as a human being. Why did I need to embarrass her if I didn't plan to commit to her? I glanced back at the water under me. A drop of tear rolling off of my eyes.

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"Do you like her?" Jimin asked sitting beside me. I dragged my body to sit up straight and looked at him with my zombie eyes. "I don't know Jimin-ah. I really don't know." I murmured. "I wish I could ask someone for the answer to this." I added. "The only person who can answer you is yourself. Question yourself countless of times Taetae. And you might get the answer." He said as he stroked my hair.

Question myself? Do you like her Taehyung? How does it feel like to love someone? I've never felt that in a romantic way. How do I feel about Y/N?

When I first saw her she looked so honest. This is really not the definition anyone would point out in a girl. But that's the word for it. She was genuine. She was genuinely honest about her emotions. But when I saw something I shouldn't have she changed in a split second. She looked so fake after that. Trying her best to hide the scars in her heart. But it was normal right? I wouldn't want the person I like know about my dark side. That's why I don't wanna tell her about "that".

At first when I saw her scars and the look on her face, I don't know why but I desperately wanted to make anything painful go away from her. I wanted to make her happy. So desperately, without a second thought. The way she broke into my arms I wanted to hold her tight and make her feel at ease and safe. Was it because I love her? Or was it because I wanna save a life?

But I can't even think of her dying because of the pain the world is putting her through. Never ever in a thousand years. I'll do anything, Anything to make her happy and go on with her life. If even if I don't get to spend the time with her I want to make her realize how important a lifespan is. Nobody should give up their lives when there are people suffering just because they have shorter lives. I hope she keeps her promise.

I feel happy when I see her smiling. She seems beautiful whenever I think of her. I feel safe when she holds me in her arms. I feel at peace when she consoles me like nobody else can. I feel so freaking jealous when any other guy tries to come in the frame. It feels like someone set me on fire. But when I'm with her it feels like home.

Even when I saw those horrible things before coming to NYC again and I wanted to snap. I felt so tired of everything. Tired of people hating on me. But when I held her in my arms it just felt like she sucked off every bad emotions I had in myself. I want her in front my eyes 24/7. If that's what they call Love. Then I can confirm I love her. But what's the consequences of that?

"Do you love Ayu?" I broke the silence. "It's hard to explain. But she's someone I want by my side for a long long time. But she just won't let me do it which makes me angry. It's so frustrating and clingy of me to do that but I'll push her until she falls in my arms. That's it." Jimin replied with a huge sigh.

"How will you do that? You're an Idol you remember that?" I asked uncertainty in my voice. Isn't it impossible for an Idol to think of true love?

"If you think about others then you can't find your own happiness Taehyung. Being an Idol is a job which I love with all my heart. But I can't let that ruin my life. If I do then my love for that will turn into hatred and frustration which is the last thing I want." Wah. I didn't know he was so wise of a person.

"It's all about give and take. You'll have to loose something to get something. We all just need to set our priorities." Jimin added as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"I wish you luck with her." I smiled. "Thanks. Same to you." He said and laid back down. Same to me? But I don't have enough time to see through my luck with her. I've to be very very selfish if I commit to this Love.

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I was scrolling through my phone while drinking beer at a bar with Jungkook. I don't know where he is so I might as well get lost in my own thoughts. I was looking through the photos we took today. It's been hours I haven't talked to her. Small droplets of tears starter forming in my eyes. Idk how much more hate we'll get if I commit to her. Moreover does she really like me? Not as a idol but as a man?

She never changed the way she talks even after I talked to her in disguise. Well she wasn't the one who pulled away like a coward from a friggin kiss. "Hey. Are you from BTS?" Someone asked from behind me. "No." I replied. "Yes you are." They said. Oh. Really informative of you. Thanks for letting me know I'm from BTS.

I sighed loudly at their comment. And got back to what I was doing. "Do you know them?" That same voice asked and I rolled around my bar stool with irritation. "How can I help you?" I asked with gritted teeth and an annoyed smile. In front of me was a guy. I've to admit he was quite handsome. "I know them too." He said sitting next to me and pulling out his phone showing me a picture of him and Ayu.

"Oh." I said as he smiled at me deepening his dimples. Kinda reminds me of RM. "You look like you have feelings for one of them." He directed his eyes at the group picture in my phone. "Yea I do." I replied without hesitation. He bit his lips after licking it. What's his problem? He looks... Mad?

"You're an Idol. How can you even think of liking a fan huh? What about your other fans? Isn't it unfair for them? You can't even commit to her. You'll only play with her heart." I clenched my jaw harder by every word that came out of his mouth.

"Is it any of your business?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Ofc it is. I care about h-her." Did he just shutter? I raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's not like she likes you or whatever. It's just a fascination towards her bias. That's not Love that's more like Lus-" Stfu you green eyed bitch.

"Listen dude. Idk who you are to rant at me. But I'm sure girls are all around you by looking at your appearance. Now tell me do you love them all? Or can you commit to all of them?" I spatted out in anger.

"It's not the same dud-" He tried to convince me.

"Of course it is. It should be. I'm only human. Like you. I also have rights to love someone, to make a family with someone, to be happy with someone just like a fucking human." I snapped out loud.

"But-" He tried to say but I cut him off again.

"And if she doesn't like me then that's on that. I can't give up without even trying." I said. His eyes widened at the last part. Like I just hit a weak spot of his.

"Which one is it? Ayu or Y/N?" I scoffed at his question. This guy is really fucked in the mind isn't he?

"Y/N." I replied as he smirked at the floor. I didn't get that expression.

"Have you ever thought why her so-called brother is so much younger than her? If you look closely doesn't he look like me? She still loves me unconditionally Mr. Idk what your name is. Good luck with her." He said leaving me speechless.

"W-who are you?" I can't believe I shuttered. I wanna smack myself for that.

"Harry. Harry Walker."

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To Be Continued 💀