The Wish From Heaven | ✓

chapter 20 : dawn's room

Right now I am standing in front of Dawn's house.

My eyes drift to the window of my room, half-expecting to see July sitting there, so I could see his encouraging smile and walk into the place I have been avoiding for so long with confidence.

But the window was closed, the sky casting a reflection on it, hiding the room that lays on the other side. I shake my head to move thoughts of July away. Right now, I need to focus on what's ahead of me.

What's ahead of me is my dead friend's home, where I know he would never be in. However, there seems to be a very small part of me that stubbornly wants to believe that there is 0.1% chance of Dawn being inside there, waiting for me to come and talk to him. Perhaps the fear of losing my grip on the thin thread of hope accompanied by that 0.1% is what kept me away from this house for so long.

Today, this 0.1% will vanish, pulling me to the reality.

A reality I would have to accept.

Today, I will no longer be a coward. I will walk through that door. I will meet those wonderful people again, and ask for their forgiveness. And then finally, I will visit his room.

I will embrace the truth of his death.

The truth will fall on me in a thunderous speed, crushing me beneath it, and I will crumble out of existence. But it is okay. Because I know, there is someone waiting for me in my own room.

I walk over to the front door, and ring the bell before my mind changes itself.

"Coming!" I hear Destiny's voice, sounding a bit more matured than how I last remember. My heart rate paces up, and before the door swings open, I think for a final time that I should run away again.

She blinks at me, her head craned up. For a moment, we only stare at each other. Finally, her mouth breaks into a huge smile.

"Oh Go– Jesu– holy– hey, mom!" She calls, without taking her eyes off me, "It's brother Ced!" Then she moves from the doorway and gestures me to come in.

Hesitating once, I squeeze my eyes shut and step in, the fresh smell of pancakes hitting my nose as soon as I do, making my eyes fill with tears immediately.

"Ced, doesn't my mom make the best pancakes in the whole universe? Go on, eat it. Oh wait! Let me bring you a fork first."

I put my hand on top of Destiny's head and ruffle her charcoal black hair. She shyly smiles at me. Then I take a few steps in, and see the familiar living room on my left. It is small, with a set of six sofas arranged in a square and a round table in the center. It overlooks the small front-yard, where his mother takes care of a few plants.

But what grabs my eyes are the pictures on the wall.

I walk over to that wall, my eyes moving over the framed photographs hanging there. I find so many with me on them, as if I am an actual member of this family. There is a photo of me and him, probably from when I was just born. I was wrapped in a towel, my eyes turned to him, while he, evidently a little older, was in a diaper, staring at me with curious eyes.

I see many more photos of the two of us. The day we first started school. He was crying in that photo. The two of us sharing a swing in a park. The two of us in front of a Panda cage at the zoo, a baby panda staring at the camera, as if posing with us. A photo of us fast asleep in their front porch, our hands linked together.

Then a photo of when Destiny was born, in which Dawn was taking her in his lap for the first time, a careful look on his face, while I sat beside him, watching the little thing with great curiosity. The first day of middle school. Dawn wasn't crying, but his smile held a sadness which obviously came from his distaste towards growing up. No other photos between this and the first day of high school. And no other photos after that.