The Wish From Heaven | ✓

chapter 12 : the sky and the ocean

"July, are you good at Trigonometry?" I ask, turning in my chair.

These past few days, my studies have most certainly gone to hell.

With the mid-terms only five days away, I feel like I still am not prepared enough, and as if to make that worse, I am having so much trouble in concentrating. I can make it into roughly three sentences of a page before my mind drifts away either to Dawn, or July, or Dale, or Edgar, or Alex, or something completely random. But mostly July, and the various questions and confusions accompanied by him.

I was originally planning on revising a chapter from History in which I was weak at. But it took me more than half an hour to just complete one page. My eyes saw the words, and I read the lines aloud, but my brain never managed to perceive them, so I had to read them again. At one point, I gave up and decided to do some Trig which will need more brainwork and focus.

I like maths as long as it is easy.

The moment I come across a math that I can't solve no matter how much I try, I get disheartened, stop doing it altogether, and don't touch that chapter for the next week or so.

July drives his gaze away from the window and looks at me. He has a book on his lap, but I still notice him staring out in a daze for long intervals.

"Depends on the question, man." He gets off the bed and walks over to my table beside me. He reads the question and says, "Ah, it's..." He takes the pen from my hands and starts solving it. Halfway through, I figure out how to do it.

"Ah! I get it now," I say.

He puts down the pen and chuckles. "Trig's easy once you figure out which direction to take."

"Thank you so much, July." He only smiles in reply. I complete the rest of it, feeling a little better after getting the right answer. July remains standing beside me the whole time.

"Are you having trouble concentrating?" h asks.

"Yeah."

"Are you worried?"

"I am. I have been very distracted. You see, if I drop from my position, mom will..." I shake my head, not wanting to think about it.

"Hmm," he says, then props himself up on his palms to sit on the table. "Tell me, Cedar. Why do you study?"

I look down at the notebook, at the one math that made me so anxious for being a little different than the rest. "That...for the same reason everyone does."

"Oh, and what's that?"

"Um, to get a job?"

"Okay, then tell me. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Huh?" I look up at him, not ready for that question. I think for a while and then honestly reply, "I...don't quite know. Mom's been telling me that I would have to read in Engineering. So I guess I will study in CSE. There is more demand for CSE students these days."

"Is that the subject you really want to read in?"

"I- uh, July, I don't think it really matters what I want." Ugh, I'm doing exactly what Dawn said I do. It's not easy to change.