You and I //Z.M

//40// Confrontations

#40

Zayn

"His name is Dev. Dev Raj Singhania." She cut me off.

All the fibres in my body which always told me that there was a way to find her, to make her love me, all turned against me. All my hopes and dreams crushed within 7 words.

My hand left hers, as if it knew that it wasn't the hand that I was fated to hold.

"But ... but we are still married Al. We were just estranged. We are not legally separated." I said, helplessly.

"Zayn, you sent me a divorce. How can you say we are not legally separated?" She said.

"God damn it Aliya!" I screamed, banging my fist against the wall behind her. "How many times did I tell you that I didn't send you a divorce. You were the one. You were the one who decided to throw is away."

She pushed me away, her hands banging my chest. "Zayn I didn't do anything. I didn't send you a divorce. Try and understand. And I wasn't the one who misunderstood someone, even when there were enough proof that it wasn't me."

I held her hands which was in my chest. "But-but you got engaged." I cried out.

She looked away, tears clouding her vision. "I had to move on from my past."

It's true. She had to move on from her past. She didn't want anymore pain in her life.

"D-Did you ever love m-me?" I stuttered.

She looked down to her feet. "How does it even matter now?"

"It does matter to me." I said, enclosing my arms around her waist, totally forgetting the fact that she was someone else's now. "Did you love me Al?" I repeated.

The tears streaming down her face gave me my answer. But I needed it to hear it. "Why else did I leave then Zayn?" She said, looking straight up to my eyes."I wanted to give you everything which I took from you Zayn. I loved you Zayn. And I still do." She said, wiping her tears off.

I slightly smiled and cupped her cheeks tightly. I kissed her forehead slightly. "That's all I need. We will make it through."

She took my hands away from her cheek. "No Zayn. I have already made plans for my future. Dev is my future. My future is with him."

"Do you even love him Aliya? You love me. How can you possibly burden yourself with marrying a person who you don't love. Wait ... were you forced into this?" I asked.

She pushed me away. "I wasn't forced into anything. And you can't ask me whether I was forced. I was forced into a marriage with you too. I was not forced for this. It was my own will." She said.

"Zayn, you should move on too. You can't stay immersed in one's memories. Move on Zayn. Find someone." She said.

"But how can you live with someone you don't love Al?" I asked, helplessly.

"I did that with you didn't I? I lived with you and eventually fell in love. Same way. I will live with Dev and eventually learn to love him." She responded."

"Will he ever love you the way I loved you? Will he ever love all your flaws like I do? Will he ever be able pass through your silent treatment? Will he ever understand the different types of silence treatment you give? Never Al. He will never understand when you are mad. He will never understand when you need some space. He will just tend to ignore you. He will just leave you alone when what you actually need is some support and love. He will constantly try and bug you when there's nothing serious in your head. Because he doesn't know you Al. He will never in a million years love you like I do."

"I am sure you both will get married and get on with the both of your lives. You will accept each other. Not because it's your will. Because you are forced to. Because you don't have a wide range of options. He will love you because that is the only thing that is left to do." I said.

"Zayn, there's nothing left to do now. I have to go. Mum will worry." She said, wiping the tears off. She looked at me, her eyes flashing every emotion in this world. Though she said something else, I knew she wanted something else.

And I will make everything just the way it has to be.

Aliya

I never knew that going away from home for a bit of piece was going to cost so much.

I ran back home, tears clouding my vision. Reaching home, I wiped the tears off and opened the door. Everyone smiled and greeted me while I did just the same. Mum's concerned gaze never left me as I disappeared upstairs.

I closed the door and slid down the door onto my knees, the dam inside me breaking. I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my face between them.

After crying my eyes out, I placed my head back and closed my eyes.

Dev was the only relief I had here in Ireland. He was the only friend I had here. Soon, the friendship blossomed strongly that even our parents became really close friends.

My family really liked Dev. They loved everything about him. Dev was such, anyone would fall in love with him. His suave presence in my life and my family's life was something which I loved.

Mine and Zayn's divorce-or so called divorce- surprised not just me but my entire family. Mum and Dad were so shocked by that piece of paper. Seeing my state, they thought it wasn't healthy for me to stay immersed in my own world, to stay immersed in my own imaginations. They wanted me to forget Zayn and every single thing which was connected to him. They decided it was time for me to move on in my life.

And yet again, Dev came as the solution for that problem. He agreed to marry me. But in one condition; that I have to be completely ready to give him my hand.

It took me some time, a year almost. But Dev waited, as patiently as he could. He never bought up the topic of engagement whenever we talked. He always intently listened whenever I said something. His crazily funny jokes and demeanour became a necessity.

And by that year, I realised by agreeing to this proposal, I was making not just my family and his family happy. I was making me happy. I was giving me a future which I wanted.

And my word of approval was all it took to get us engaged. I could say I was happy, but deep down, I wasn't.

And today, when I saw Zayn, all those emotions of mine revived. Every little feeling which I hid in my heart sprung back to life.

But I couldn't think about this anymore. My future is connected with Dev. Not Zayn. And I should accept that fact as soon as possible.

***

Awwie Zayn :'/

I got long LONG comments in the last chapter. Thhaannnks. I just love long comments.

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