Pretty Boy [bxb] | ✔️

Chapter eighteen: You can't do that

But yesterday, when he woke up because of that nightmare he had, he let me hold him and wanted me to sleep in his bed with him. What was that all about? Was that part of the trick or did he momentarily let his vulnerable side show? That's so cruel. Did he even have a nightmare at all? All he wanted was to prolong his lies and make me definitely believe them, right? What a fucking actor.

This makes sense now. Of course he wouldn't like me. This is Alexander Montgomery. How could I have fallen for that?

More importantly, how could someone be so inhumane?

A ball of frustration and anger hits me in the stomach, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? What wrong with you, Mr. Oh my God, I have an anxiety disorder, give me attention? Look at me, I'm shaking. I'm so fucking special." Alex taunts me, putting on a disgusting British accent for effect.

"What have I ever done to you?"

Nothing. I've done nothing to him. Ever. I can't understand this. He's a fucking seventeen-year-old and he still thinks this is acceptable? How old does he think he is? Ten?

"Answer me this, why do you think I would ever like you? You're ugly, you look like a stick, you're an attention seeker, you're annoying, and you're insanely dumb. Literally no one
likes you apart from Gomez. You're a loser."

Alex lists each and every one of my insecurities, as though he can see into my thoughts and he knows that these are the things that I don't like about myself. It's funny how he knows all of them. I can feel a lump form in my throat as my eyes prick with tears.

Why am I crying?

I had gotten my hopes up about this so much. I've been so desperate for him to change, like he said he was going to do. I believed him, and I can't believe I was so stupid in doing so. All my thoughts from when he kissed me under that tree comes flooding back.

"Why are you so cruel to me?" I ask him, trying my hardness not to properly start crying.

"Oh great, here come the waterworks," He says, and he rolls his eyes for the second time tonight. "Thanks for letting me know that you're a definite queer, by the way."

My eyes widen. Holy shit, how could I have been so mindless as to tell him that I think I'm gay? I'm digging my own hole here. How the hell do I get myself out of this?

Maybe I could lie and say that I've been doing the same to him. I said I think I'm gay as a joke, perhaps. But that sounds entirely dumb. He'd never fall for that, and it would be so obvious that I'm copying him. So maybe not.

"You know what would look good on your face?" Alex asks me. What is he talking about? I don't respond. He does so anyway for me. "A punch."

He's walking towards me now. Then he's pulling his fist back. Then it's travelling towards my face.

The hit never comes.

I startle awake.

I sit up instantly, and that's when I realise that I'm under the covers. The T.V. is off too. Alex is switching off the bathroom light and walking towards his bed. The main light is off and the curtains have been pulled closed. The room is illuminated by the orangey-yellow glow of Alex's bedside lamp. He smiles at me.

"I hope you don't mind that I pulled the covers over you. I didn't want you to be cold," He tells me, getting into bed. "Interesting show you were watching. A lot of shouting, though."

I can feel my heart beating heavily in my chest. My eyes feel wet too, but I don't think Alex has noticed. It's not so greatly lit in here. I quickly wipe the tears away with the back of my hand.