Pretty Boy [bxb] | ✔️

Chapter nineteen: Is this a drunken joke?

𝙄𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙙𝙧𝙪𝙣𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙟𝙤𝙠𝙚?

For the majority of the trip, I don't mention the whole Lexi Taylor being Alex's girlfriend crap to him.

I've concluded that's it neither my business or my problem. If Alex has decided to be in a relationship when he likes me, that's all on him. It's not my fault, and I don't have a right to feel jealous or hurt. It's not like I'm dating him, which is why I don't know why I feel so hurt.

I'm not dating him. He did not ask me out.

I should stop fixating on that.

It's awkward looking at him knowing that he may like me while having a girlfriend and I can't do anything even though I'm stuck in my feelings for him. There is that possibility that Lexi was lying and I can't completely rule that out, but I also can't rule out the fact that she could be telling the truth.

If I'm honest, I hoped that this trip would be a whole lot more fun. The activities we did were enjoyable, even the boring bits as Cami always makes things somewhat more pleasant, but I couldn't dispose of the slight hollow feeling in my chest every time I looked at Alex or Lexi.

It is at this point where I've given up trying to battle my mind and admitted to myself that I do have some sort of feelings for Alex. I don't know when it happened or why it's hit me so suddenly, but that's what I'm dealing with now, and I don't know what to do. Like, at all.

On the day before we go home, the teachers have deemed us responsible enough to go out into London without them, as long as we're in a group of a least three. Cami, Lucy and I figured it would be cool to go to Oxford Street as the girls both have always wanted to go. Me being the leader I supposedly am here, I take them.

As soon as we get there, which was only 15 minutes by train, we choose to go into a Starbucks before looking around.

As I order, I can't help but notice how flirty the distinctly gay barista is toward me. The guy even winks at me as I pick my drink up. I smile sweetly back out of kindness. My mind travels back to when that guy waiter guy, Nathan, gave me his number. I haven't spoken to him since.

Although I am flattered, this only causes thoughts to begin to whiz around my mind. Is it that obvious that I'm gay? Or maybe he just had excellent gaydar? I want to stop being so paranoid about this, but I can't. Is it that bad that I may appear gay? Because that's what I am. Gay. I'm pretty sure. Like pretty sure.

When we sit down at the window seats, the door beside me jingles, signalling that someone has walked in. Naturally looking up, shock and horror overtake me. Lexi and her gang strut inside, all are casting me a side-eye.