Pretty Boy [bxb] | ✔️

• Chapter sixty-one: Role model

Role model

I wake up with a smile on my face. Once I open my eyes, they fall to the ring on my finger.

Momentarily, I don't remember what Alex and I discussed before we went to sleep. My mind goes straight to the positive: the promise ring.

While I did already feel confident in our relationship, I now feel more so. Like this is something I needed. I needed proof because that's what I like to live off, or what my anxiety likes to live off, in order to make myself feel better. Facts, evidence, authentication, rather than things that have been said but not shown to be true, because then I'm unsure. Uncertainty is one of the things that fills me with such perturbation.

I do remember, though. It comes to my mind as soon as I try to remember more of last night, past the ring giving. I feel upset, of course, I do, but I'm also proud of Alex, more than anything. Because he got through it and he's here still. I guess that's all that matters to me, and although I'm not the one who went through what Alex did, I don't think I should dwell on the past either.

I am just grateful that he had the courage and trusted me enough to tell me something that is so painful and so hard to talk about. But something else has come of it. I now feel...wary. As if should look out for warning signs, even if he promised to never do it again, because I don't know if that promise is sincere and it's so hard to tell when it comes to mental health.

I don't want to worry, though. I'm not even sure I should mention it when he wakes up.

I decide to try not to worry myself too much and, stretching, I get out of bed. As soon as I do, I am reminded that I am wearing absolutely no clothing and smile at the memory of what we got up to last night, how we practically couldn't keep our hands off each other after Alex gave me the ring and we stopped crying, adding to the first round we had before we did so.

"Morning, beautiful," I hear Alex mumble behind me, his voice raspy from only just waking up. My grin widens at the sound of it.

"Morning, gorgeous," I respond, turning around so that he can see my smile. So that he's aware that I'm happy he's awake now.

He props himself up with his arms behind him, looking me up and down, the sunlight creeping in through the gap in the curtain bouncing off his exposed chest, and if he were to do this three months ago, look me up and down while I'm naked, I would have been so shy at the fact that he can see every piece of me. Now I think nothing of it and can be nude around him no problem with no thoughts of insecurity and no shielding away my private parts like I still did the first two or three times we had sex; after we had finished and there was no need to be naked anymore. It was silly of me, but I'm glad I'm not at that stage anymore.