Ozone // CLINTON AND CHRISTIAN

25: Back Again

Clinton's POV

I have the worst headache. I know caused it, because of what's happening tonight. But I just can't seem to get out of bed. I just lay there staring at the ceiling fan, trying to make out the shape of it in the dark. My head pounds when a hear a knock at my bedroom door.

"Hey mate." It's Jesse. I sit up too quick and get lightheaded, but nonetheless manage to give a half smile. I expect him to come in, but he just stays in the doorway.

"You know (Y/N) is coming over tonight," he states. I nod and he continues. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Wow, dumb question. We both know the answer to that.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lie.

Jesse smiles. "I'll see you downstairs."

As soon as I hear the click of the door being closed, I punch the bed. It didn't do much, but I needed to hit something.

My mind is racing more than it was before, more than it does when I try to fall asleep at night. This is really it, I really have to see her now. Not that I don't want to see her. I've wanted to contact her forever, every single day. But she hates me. Hates me. But damn, I miss her.

I throw my legs over the edge of the bed and turn on the lamp. After adjusting my eyes to the light, I pull out the drawer of the bedside table and my shaky hand searches for a yellow pill bottle. Fuck. Almost empty.

A few months ago was when it started. I thought it was how I always was, depressed at times, anxious at others. But then it got bad. I couldn't sleep, my mind racing, flashbacks. During the day, exhausted. It was a violent cycle. I think the boys knew after a while, which is why they convinced me to see a doctor. They just didn't know what was causing it, only I knew that. Guilt, anger, and missing (Y/N). Nonetheless, I got prescribed Xanax and at least they've helped a little bit.

But the one thing they boys didn't know is that now, I can't live without the pills.

I change into jeans and a t-shirt and walk into the bathroom. As I stare into the mirror, I hate what I see. Not physically, I don't mind that. I just hate who I've become. I've become a cliché, a pill-popping depressed "rockstar" who can't hold a relationship.

I pop a pill into my mouth and chase it down with some water from the sink. I can't. I'm not ready.

Even though my heart is beating out of my chest, I open the bathroom door and walk downstairs. Mitchel is vacuuming for some reason and Jesse is putting away our video games. We literally never clean the apartment unless it's necessary.

I squeeze past Christian and Pat trying to get some sort of food ready so I can get to the fridge. I look at all the drinks – beer, liquor, some weird shit Mitchel found at the store the other day. I decide on a Diet Coke and go sit on the couch.

Christian looks at me quizzically. "No beer tonight?"

I open my mouth to speak but pause.

Prescription medication. Do not mix with alcohol. Dangerous and sometimes fatal side effects may occur.

I smile and shake my head no. Hey, at least I don't want to die anymore.

Just then, the doorbell rings. Here we go.

Your POV

You fix your hair and ring the doorbell. Immediately, the door opens, and you see Mitchel's beaming face.

"(Y/N)!" He reaches out and hugs you tight, and over his shoulder you see Jesse and Pat running over to greet you.

You peek into they boys' new apartment. It's bigger than yours, but smaller than your previous Air BnBs. Unusually clean for how the boys normally act, but you don't question it. Even from standing in the doorway you can smell many different aromas of food from the kitchen – Clinton. He stays sitting on the couch but gives you a faint smile.

Before you can smile back, Christian's face blocks your view as he runs over to you.

"Hey, would you let the girl breathe?" he laughs. "How are you, love? We missed you." He pulls you into a hug even tighter than Mitchel's.

Suddenly, you see Clinton in front of you, arms outstretched. As you go in to hug him, it feels forced, but also feels like home. "I'm happy to see you again, (Y/N)." he whispers.

As everyone walks back in, Mitchel ushers you to the couch. "Go sit down! We'll right over, we're just getting some food."

Standing awkwardly next to you, Clinton speaks up, "Do you want anything to drink?" It's clear he's trying to break the ice.

"Water is fine, thanks," you say, giving a half smile. You go sit down and not long after, the boys join you, Christian sitting down next to you. "So, what's new?" you ask.

Christian nudges you in the side. "Nooo you tell us first!"

"Fine!" you laugh. "What do you want to know?"

Jesse shrugs. "Anything, girlie." Christian casually stretches and puts his arm around you, his thumb grazing your shoulder. You feel a chill run down your spine.

"Well, I moved here and found an apartment for super cheap." You decide to leave Meghan out for now. Maybe they can meet her. Someday. "I started going to school for nursing, taking classes, all that. I won't bore you with the details." You laugh. "But I met three really great friends, Makayla, Olivia, and Jaelyn in my program. I'm done with school for now, but I have to go back soon."

The boys smile. "I'm glad to see you all though!" you say. "So, tell me what's been new with you?"

"Well, we finished up our world tour." Jesse speaks up. "Honestly we've just been relaxing for now."

You start to get a little upset as to why nobody contacted you. You understand the boys tend to get busy while on tour, but relaxing for now? I'm sure they had time to reach out. You look over and see Clinton. He seems dazed – not paying attention.

You shift your attention back to the boys when you hear Mitchel's voice. "But yeah we're still making music and stuff! Hopefully some good stuff in the works!"

Christian moves closer to you, his fingers now touching your side.

"Other than that, nothing else is really new!"

"That's not true! We went to Jamaica which was amazing and..."

You daze off in thought, glancing at Clinton. You start to miss him. But why? After the way things left off? And what about Christian?

You jump as your phone starts ringing. Meghan calling. You immediately turn away so Christian cant see your phone.

"Who is it?" Pat asks.

"Ahh, just my friend. I better go, she's going through a bad breakup and probably wants to talk." Wow, lying to the boys now? About something so simple.

You start to walk towards the door and the boys follow you for hugs. As you turn around to say goodbye, you lock eyes with Clinton. Those deep, dark, puppy dog eyes. Looking back at you, as if they were begging for help.