Vampires Rule // Colby Brock

|~17~|

Colby Brock
I watch her from across the hall. She's staring back at me with this curiosity mixed with confusion. She doesn't seem angry, happy, or sad particularly. She's just... there. And we're looking at each other as the same tension as before builds between us. I'm conflicted, as I always am when it comes to her. A big part of me is drawing me towards her but another part is doing its best to push her away instead.

In fact, when I step forward a little bit at the same time as her, my monster doesn't even growl like it did the last time. It's laying silently somewhere inside of me waiting for it's turn, which isn't now.

The absence of my monster seems to overwhelm the rest of my senses. I suddenly want to feel the way I did when I kissed her before. I want to feel alive again, like my heart is beating in my chest. She's the only one who's ever done that to me since I changed and I want it again. Without the monster I'm just this kid who wants love, even though he doesn't even believe in it.

My desperate need to feel something amongst the numbness makes me walk quickly forward to kiss her again. I want it, need it in that moment. I need to fill that empty void and she's the only way I know how.

But before I get close enough to feel whole again, she places her hands on my chest and pushes me harshly backwards. If it weren't for my strength, I'd probably be against the opposite wall right about now.

I feel the anger inside of her as she takes a big breath to speak. "You don't get to pick and chose when you're not an asshole to me, Colby. You can't glare at me and be rude downstairs then as soon as we're in this hallway come up close to kiss me." She looks slightly flustered, but she doesn't seem to realise it. She's just ranting, releasing everything that's on her chest. "That's not how it works. I'm not someone you can just push around and I never will be." With that, she walks- no, storms off.

Watching her back as she basically runs away from me kills me again. Literally. My monster comes out of nowhere and makes me growl deep in my throat. It makes me want to chase her, grab her, and bite her for denying me. But I have just enough control to keep where I am until I hear her car start.

Feeling a slight panic, I jump from my window onto the street outside. So what if the guys hear me? It's doubtful that they will anyway so I have nothing to worry about. In the shadows, I chase after her car and keep back enough that she won't see me. Though she's still angry, I can feel some sort of sadness that I'm not sure about.

Comfort her. It's my first instinct. Grab her and don't bite her, but instead pull her into a hug until she feels better. And there's my monster abandoning me again, making me feel weak and vulnerable. I hate that. I hate feeling like I could get hurt. She's making me feel that way just by feeling vulnerable herself. I feel soft just because I feel for her in this way. It's so... new. I wonder if this is how Sam feels. He says he's in love with Katrina. So much so that he's just told her the secret. So is this how he feels? Or is there more to it? Like, is it more intense because he is 'in love'?

My thoughts come to a crash and burn when I hear Lydia's broken sob. Standing on her balcony, I watch the way she collapses against the front door after stepping inside and covers her face. She's crying. But why?

It's only after watching her for a few seconds when I feel like crying myself. I literally feel the tear ducts in my eyes that haven't been active for years all attacking at once and it's almost too much to handle. Almost.

Instead of breaking down into tears just like she is, I watch her. I can't get in even if I want to, which I do, so this is the most I can do. I can make sure she doesn't do anything stupid and that she goes to bed okay and she sleeps peacefully. If she doesn't... I'll have to find some sort of loophole or just bang on this glass and scream until she sees me.