Vampires Rule // Colby Brock

|~14~|

Colby Brock
I find myself staring at her again. We're standing here, close, and my control is slipping, yet I'm allowing myself to stay this close to her. This is a test, of sorts. I just want to see how much my starved monster can take and she's the guinea pig at this second. Not that she seems to care, she's just staring right back at me. She's fascinating; more than anyone I've ever seen before. There's a lot of thoughts behind those beautiful blue eyes that I want to know. I want to get to know her for some reason. I want to see what her life is like and whether there's room for me in there . . .

And then, of course, my control slips. I grab her arms and pull her body against mine, though not so close that the monster will break through just yet, and I kiss her. It's a stupid thing to do, but in the moment, all I feel are sparks. It feels like my heart is beating again, like I have a life again. And because of that, the passionate kiss slows down to something much more intimate. It's so much more full of the emotions I've kept hidden inside for so long.

I haven't wanted a woman before. Well, of course I have, but not like I want Lydia in that moment. It's not just the monster that's conflicted anymore. It's me too. I want to drain her, I want to fuck her, I want to kiss her... but I want to be there for her too. It's the smallest part of my brain growing bigger and bigger the gentler this kiss goes on. Everything inside of me is pouring out here and I don't have any control over it.

That is, until she lifts her hands and places them on my chest. That's what makes the monster growl inside of me. It rears its ugly head and ruins my humanistic moment, makes me feel dead once more. And that's why I pull back from her, though I don't move too far. Her eyes are still closed as if she enjoyed that as much as I did. She appears to be thinking while I just stare at her. Even the monster has to admit her slightly reddened lips are hot and cute at the same time, but then it sees the light pink on her cheeks. That's dangerous. Because it smells that too.

To my surprise, there's still this tension between us. Here I was hoping that letting my control slip and kissing her won't be such a bad thing. I'll come out on the end much better and won't be hooked on her face anymore, but now it's worse. I want to kiss her again, to hold her closer and closer until there's not even a molecule of space between us. This feeling isn't helped by the pounding heart in her chest, her uneven breathing, and the attraction and arousal I can feel radiating off of her now. It's so strong, which makes me think maybe she's feeling the same thing for me.

When she finally opens her eyes, I get utterly lost in them for a few moments. The blue is staring straight into mine and it's powerful. It's like it's burning through to the human side of me that I've kept locked up for a while but also activating the monster at the same time. Once again, I'm conflicted between a bite and another kiss.

She makes that decision for me as she fists my shirt in her hands and stands up on her toes, since she's so short. Her eyes close and I almost let her kiss me, I really do. It's the only thing, in that second, that I want to happen until the monster growls from within. This is a bad idea.

I inhale sharply—also a bad idea—and do my best to gently push her back. Her eyes flick open as she looks at me curiously, not hurt at all. That intrigues me. Everything about her intrigues me. I suddenly want to know her thoughts, her history, her life. I've never wanted to be a part of someone's life more than I do right now. And I think that's what makes my mood shift.

My face switches to a hard expression and I see her preparing for a mini fight. I keep it simple and quiet, muttering: "you should leave." I can't plead with her so that's the nicest she's going to get. I should know better than to think she's going to let me off the hook that easy, though. She scoffs and shakes her head, stepping further into the hall. Thank god, I can breathe some more now. I can hear her heart pounding and I know we're having the same effect on one another . . . somehow. She needs to get the hell away from me before I hurt her. "I mean it, Lydia. Out of my house." It hurts me to say that somehow. "Now." I've tipped her over to the point of being mad at me.

"Do you have something wrong in your head?" Her voice is snappy, which immediately strikes me as cute. Especially the way she's cutting her eyes. I don't think she knows that. I take one last look at her, knowing that no matter what I do, I'm not getting her out of my head for a long time, and then I step into my room and shut the door. If I don't, I'll kiss her again and god knows what'll happen after that.

The anger that flies at me through the door is shockingly strong. At least I can be certain about one thing: she'd fit in perfectly with my clan and look after herself with little help. Help. The thought of helping her makes me feel an overwhelming sense of protectiveness. A lot of protectiveness. If anyone even comes close to her, with the intent of hurting her or not, I'll destroy them. Just for coming close.

I realise what I'm thinking and snap out of it. Her face is still right there but I push aside the rest of it. I didn't like kissing her. It was dumb, never should have happened. She should leave and never come back. Ever.

Nope, can't do it. That thought makes my chest ache. I feel like I was given my beating heart back then it was torn from me instantly. The second I told her to leave. Damn me.

She's not going to leave. That becomes clear when I just about hear the garage door open downstairs. And if she's down there, then I have to stay up here. We can't be near each other. That way, I can stop this little obsessing I'm doing alone in my room and forget about it. She means nothing to me. She's just another human that I have to push away.

That passion in that kiss though. And she tried to kiss me. She liked it just as much as I did and wanted more, just like I did. One step toward forgetting about her then two steps back to thinking about her. Goddamnit, Colby. Get it together. Christ.

This has never happened before and it's almost scaring me. Fuck that, it's scaring the shit out of me.