Stronger, With Or Without You

24~ Payphone

And as usual, scraped me in the process.

•°•°•°•°•°•°

I stood on the beach, my eyes closed, toenails in the sand, arms wrapped around myself. Content.

The wind picked up and I felt my hair being blown away from my face, the evening sun feeling my sadness and sending it's warm rays to comfort me.

The water swallowing my tears and sweeping my feet to soothe me.

Content.

Taking a deep breath, I gave a small smile. Silently saying thank you, even though I knew I wouldn't get an answer.

It's hard to believe I'm here in warmth about to watch the sun set while my brothers and everyone is probably wrapped up in coats and drinking hot chocolate.

My mood instantly dampened when I realised Christmas was next week Saturday, 10 more days.

My first Christmas without my parents.

My first Christmas without Jaxon.

My first Christmas without any source of happiness.

I couldn't help but feel hesrtless for a moment, I couldn't let my brothers spend Christmas without me.

It's going to be their first Christmas without Mom and Dad too.

I sighed, knowing my parents would be so disappointed in how I'm letting our sibling bond fall to the ground.

But they lied to you.

I scoffed, that's what everyone seems to be doing lately.

My mind fleeted back to 3 hours ago, when another person I let in my life lied to me.

Everyone always lies.

And everyone always disappoints.

Why wouldn't they? Nothing wrong with disappointing a disappointment.

Nothing wrong in lying to a liar.

I just wish I didn't lie before, I could have just told the truth and none of this could have happened.

I could have just said I'm not fine.

Then they wouldn't have died and I wouldn't be where I am right now.

•°flashback°•

I heard a knock on my door and groaned, sniffing and trying to wipe away the tears and make myself presentable.

My parents walked in with concerned faces.

Mom picked a tissue and sat on the bed beside me, "Baby, what's going on?"

I faked confusion and giggled, "what are you guys on about now?"

My Dad sat on the other side of me and ran his hands through my hair, something he always did when I was stressed out.

"We know, something is wrong S, we've known for a while now. We've been waiting to see if you'd come to us but you haven't, so now we've decided to do something about it ourselves"

"I have no idea what you guys are talking about" I stood up walking to my wardrobe and holding up a pink dress.

"You like?" I asked.

They glanced at each other before looking back at me.

"Steph, sweetie maybe you should sit this one out" Mom said gently.