Drawings on the Pavement

Chapter Fourteen

~Logan~
The week after Rose's birthday, her and I are sitting on my bed in the middle of a staring competition. We started the staring competitions an hour ago. I swear we're getting closer and closer to each other each round. We started at either sides of the bed and now our noses are almost touching. We stared into each other's eyes. Not meaningfully but with full purpose. Rose's eyes flutter close for just a second but it's enough. I grin "You blinked."
"Damn it!"
I laugh. "I win again! What is this 23 now?"
"24," Rose grumbles.
I grin "Even better."
She rolls her eyes.
"Do you know what would be even better?" I say.
"25?" She grumbles.
"No. This." and I lean in and press my lips to hers. Once our kiss is finished I put my forehead to her and look at her. Her eyes were looking down at the bed. She looks up at me and smiles. She kisses me lightly on the lips and then pulls away. "What is that all I get?" I say in mock hurt.
"Yes," she says smiling evilly.
"I will get you!" I declare and tackle her. I tickle her and when we stop I realise I'm on top of her. I lean into kiss her. We're about to kiss when Rose's phone rings. Rose sighs and I bury my face in the bedcovers next to her head. She rolls out from under me and answers it. "Hello?"
I get off my bed and look at myself in the mirror. There were clear bags under my eyes. I haven't been getting much sleep lately. I've woken to migraines which are now a regular occurrence. I rake my hand through my hair when there's a tap on my shoulder. I turn to Rose who hugs me. I hug her back and breathe in the soft scent of the shampoo in her hair. We stand there holding each other for a while before she sighs. "I have to go."
"I wish you didn't."
"Me too. But I do."
I sigh and let go of the hug but still holding onto her. "Goodbye Rose," I say and kiss her forehead. "Goodbye Logan," she says. She kisses my cheek and I walk her out to the door. I wave until her mum's car is out of sight. Suddenly I get another migraine. I stand against the wall and squeeze my eyes shut.
"Hey Logan?" It was mum. I look at her.
"Yeah?"
"Uh Bryce just called. He wanted to see you he said it's important. I said you'd call him back."
"Oh ok."

I call Bryce
"Hello?"
"Hey Bryce it's me. you called before?"
"Logan?"
"yeah?"
"Oh Logan hi!"
"Hey. uh you called before?"
"Oh yeah. uh. I'm not cutting in with some Rose time '"
"Nah she just left," I say. I put the phone on speaker and get myself water hoping it would soothe my headache.
"Oh ok cool. Uh uh,"
"Bryce are you ok?"
"Ok I'm just gonna...spit it out. Uh please don't be mad."
"Dude I'm not going to be mad at you just tell me," I take a drink of water and am about to swallow when he says.
"Logan I have a crush on you."
I spit my water out in shock.
"What?"
"Dude. I-I think I'm gay."
I stand there in shock. I have nothing against gay people but Bryce was the last person I expected to be gay.
"Look man I'm sorry but I've thinking it for a while man. Like I was jealous of Rose for having all the attention from you. Look Loges I am so sorry." I suddenly get another migraine and put my head up against the wall. "I'm not mad Bryce just shocked. I mean I love you man but not in that way. Like your like a brother to me."
"Yeah I know. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise man. You've done nothing wrong. It's not your fault I don't feel the same way."
"Oh ok. I gotta go. I've decided to tell my parents."
"Oh ok Good Luck man."
"Thanks I'm gonna need it."
As soon as Bryce hung up I got another migraine. I lean up against the table hoping it would pass.
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That night I woke up to a really bad migraine. It felt like my head was going to split. The pain was unbearable. I must've screamed. I felt like screaming but I couldn't hear myself think, let alone scream. My thoughts were jumbling and all I remember is.

Pain. Pain. Mum's here. Pain. Pain. I black out. I wake up and I'm in an ambulance. Pain. Scream. Pain. I black out again. When I wake up this time I'm in a hospital bed. Pain. Panic. Pain. and I black out again.
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"No" I whisper as the doctor in front of me explained what had happened to me. I don't want to believe it.
"I'm sorry son. We can't change what's going on."
I grit my teeth. "Don't call me son. You are not my father."
"Logan," my mum says warningly.
The doctor keeps talking but I don't hear what he's saying.
What's going to happen to me?
How will I cope?
How will Rose cope?
At the thought of Rose my eyes begin to well up. She doesn't deserve this. She deserves better. I want to be better for her but I can't be. I suddenly get really angry. I grab the chair I was sitting on and throw it. I walk to the wall and punch it. I'm about to punch it again when I stop. I feel so helpless. I put my head against the wall and begin to cry
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On Monday at school I pretty much avoid everyone. I tell my friends I'm tired and they believe me. For once in my life I'm hoping I don't see Rose. I know she'll see straight through me and ask what's wrong. I just hope I don't see her.
No such luck.
Rose comes up behind me and jumps on my back awkwardly. She laughs at herself and kisses me on the cheek.
"Hello sunshine!" She exclaims. Then she sees my face. "Logan what's wrong?"
"Nothing ."
"Logan tell me."
"Just leave me alone."
"Hey, tell me what's wrong." I look her in the eyes and sigh.
"I went to the hospital on Saturday night because I had a really bad migraine but I found out it wasn't a migraine," I say slowly and look into her deep hazel eyes.
"Rose, I have a tumor ."
And then I start crying