Drawings on the Pavement

Chapter Fifteen

~Rose~
This can't be happening.
I stare blankly at Logan.
We're standing in an empty school corridor, where the only sounds are distant footsteps.
Maybe this is a dream. I silently pinch my arm.
Right. Not dreaming.
Please say this is some cruel joke.
I processed all these thoughts in seconds.
I looked into Logan's eyes. He slowly lifted his head to face me. Tears streak down is eyes. Then before I could do anything he started crying into my shoulder.
I can't deal with this right now. I want to break down and cry with him.
But I have to stay strong for the both of us.
A huge knot formed in my throat and I couldn't speak. I held onto Logan tight.
I had so many questions. What type of brain tumour was it? What's going to happen? Are you okay? Are you going to tell the others? What can I do? How expensive is the treatment? Is there treatment?
But instead I whisper in his ear, "we'll get through this together".
He held back a sob and we both sunk to the floor.
Eventually with his head on my shoulder, he calmed down. We sat in silence, enjoying each other's company. I finally spoke up.
"Logan. Please tell me. What type of tumour do you have?" My voice was strained.
He didn't look up but replied in a small voice.
"The doctor said it was called Benign but I don't know much about it"
He clearly didn't want to talk about it so I changed subjects. But unfortunately I'm not very good at changing topics. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out, "the walls look nice today".
I'm an idiot. The school walls are made of brick and painted white. It's graffitied and most of the paint is peeling in various places.
He looked up at me a managed a small smile. His expression said everything was fine.
"Please don't mention anything to our friends". He looked pressured and I understood.
"Of course not." I whispered. "But only if you wanted me too" I added in reply.
He smiled and gave my hand a squeeze.
Soon after the bell rang and it was lunch. Everyone started pouring out of the classrooms, chatting and rustling through bags. Logan and I stood up and started walking to our usual spot on the grass. I couldn't believe how calm and normal he looked. Considering he was crying and stressed half an hour ago.
We sat back down and not long after Jessie joins us. She smiled and chucked her bag down.
I leaned on the grass as Logan casually used me as a pillow.
Then Bryce came and sat down. I felt Logan tense a little. I looked from him to Bryce and saw Bryce looking nervous too. I diverted the attention to Jessie who was now cradling her laptop which she forgot was in her bag as she dropped it.
Not long after Bryce cleared his throat.
"Guys, not many of you know but I have something to say. Uhh... I'm gay" Bryce said looking down at the grass.
Jessie choked on her food but I just looked up at Bryce and smiled assuringly.
"You're still the same person and we'll always be friends"
He returned my smile and he seemed more comfortable after that.
I figured things out pretty quickly but I didn't mention anything. Besides everything seemed cool and my mind was to dizzy to even think about anything other than Logan.

The rest of the day went by in a flash. I waited for Logan at the school gates so we could walk home together like usual but after twenty minutes he didn't turn up. So I started walking home by myself.
Once I got there I went straight to my room. The name of Logan's brain tumour had been planted into my brain.
I opened my laptop at my desk and quickly searched the name.

Type: Benign (no cancer cells) (can turn cancerous)
Severity: medium to high
Treatment: depending on size can result to surgery or radiation therapy
Effects: 60% chance of memory loss (can be minor or major), other minor health problems, and migraines (most likely will cease after removal)

I ran my hands through my hair. Sixty percent chance of memory loss. He might forget me. Us...
I crumpled onto my chair and leaned back. None of this felt real.
I just can't comprehend what is happening. I can't picture a world without Logan. He's my... my... everything.
My thought were interrupted as my mum walked into my room with a solemn expression.
"I was just talking to Logan's mum" she informs me.
"Oh"
"I see you already know" she says gesturing towards my screen with the information displayed.
I manage a small nod.
"Well I just wanted to let you know that you are more than welcome to spend as much time as you like together. And, we understand what your going through right now... Logan's going into surgery in two months. The outcomes aren't all that positive but... Just letting you know". She finishes and starts to walk out.
I quietly reply, just loud enough for her to still her me.
"Don't worry mum. I know everything will be fine. You wait and see. We'll get through this."
She looks at me sympathetically and leaves.
She's wrong. I know we'll get through this. I know he'll survive.
He's not getting away from me that easily.