Hello Tutorial • liskook.

Chapter 30

She just wanted to sleep exactly, she needed it.

"Hey, hey, hey," Bambam stepped on her way to the stairs, holding her shoulders. "What happened?" he asked, noticing the truly devastated state of his girl.

Lisa took a deep breath and looked up, she had held back too much, all week and the past few months. This was too much and tear after tear began to slide from her eyes, as she began to breathe with difficulty.

She didn't want that warm look and cozy feeling because she knew this would happen but there she was, crying once again, and she let herself wrap herself in her best friend's arms, feeling like a frustrated fool who had ruined everything with Jungkook and Chaeyoung as well as she always ruined everything. She had started all of this and was terrified to end it because Jungkook hated her and Chaeyoung was being rude.

And worst of all, she wanted to be in Jungkook's arms right now, she wanted to talk to him and be with him and be less stupid with him. She didn't want to be with her best friend like before, she didn't want to be alone in her room with her cat, Lisa wanted to hug Jungkook and cry and maybe that's why she was a lousy friend but she didn't give a shit anymore, not in that moment.

"I'm tired," she murmured after sniffling, she was a mess. She knew that Bambam wanted to know but she couldn't explain, she couldn't even speak.

"Go to sleep, I'll take care of Leo," he combed her hair gently and Lisa nodded.

She climbed the stairs and threw herself on the bed in the guest room, hugging a pillow, and then, when she was finally alone, she caught a hint of Jungkook's scent on the shirt she was wearing. She was still wearing his shirt.

That was the closest thing to a hug she could have at the time, nothing more. She wished it felt just as welcoming as it had when they kissed, she tried to recreate the feeling of his strong arms around her waist in her mind but it was difficult when she only had a shirt with his scent and the clear statement that he didn't want to have anything to do with her.

She took her phone and dialed his number again, just because she wanted to check once more if it was true.

"This number is not available at the moment, leave a message"

A heavy tear ran down from her eye to her ear, and others soon followed. Lisa didn't like crying this way, she didn't like feeling sad or guilty. She hated the pressure in her chest that kept her from breathing normally. A fist clenched her sad heart and threatened to kill it, although it was already broken by itself.

She was alone. Lisa could survive alone, she had done it all her life, she had been able to play alone and grow alone, she had been her greatest source of support ever. But now, she felt so alone and it was different.

She was alone with her tears and she had looked for it herself.

She didn't like herself at this moment, wanting to hit herself.

Maybe if she had spoken to Jungkook that first time they met in the library... If she had directly confessed her true feelings instead of being a coward and giving all the chances to her best friend... If she hadn't hidden like an idiot and she would have kissed him once more instead of running into the arms of another guy... If she had confessed the truth ...

But it didn't matter anymore, she couldn't turn back time.

"This number is not available at the moment, leave a message"

She sat on the bed and pulled her hair back, wiping the tears from her red cheeks.

"Hey...," she stopped to breathe, preventing a sob coming out from her mouth. She forced a smile, to sound better but it didn't work, her voice still sounded weak and sad when she said: "I'm so sorry Jungkook"