Falling in Love - A Shivika Romance ✔

16. Her Pain

"Annika," he cupped her face. She sniffed.

"Don't you want to see him one last time?"

Annika nodded but immediately shook her head. She was not strong enough to see her late father's face.

"I don't want to Shivaay. Please,"

Shivaay shook his head. 

"You have to," he tried to convince her, "he is your father. You must."

"I am not that strong," she cried, "I am not that strong."

"Shh" he placed a finger on her lips, "if you don't want to, I will do mukhagni" she grasped a generous amount of his shirt's collar after hearing the word.

He continued, "But you must see him one last time. He loves you a lot. You cannot do this to him. 

Annika nodded. Shivaay pressed his lips together in a thin, condescending smile. She knelt down in front of the pyre. Her hands caressed her father's face. She cried at the thought of never being able to see him again. What she felt for him was beyond describable. She rested her head against Harsh's chest. Sideways, she felt Shivaay's hands around her shoulders. She appreciated the support he tried to give. 

Wiping off her tears, she placed a kiss on Harsh's cheeks. She burst out crying yet again. Shivaay held her for support.

He helped her stand up. 

"Go with her," he pointed at a househelp, "she will get you your clothes."

Annika nodded and left with the househelp to change in white clothes.

"Be careful," she heard Shivaay's voice when she was about to stumble on the stairs.

***

Shivaay knocked on her door when she did not arrive downstairs after fifteen minutes or so. Annika, who had been hugging Harsh's photo frame till now, wiped her tears and let him in. She was ready in a white salwar kameez but unwilling to head downstairs,

His wet hair and changed attire gave away that he took a shower and was perfectly ready to lead the antim sanskar rituals. 

Shivaay felt an ache in his heart when he recognized dry tear marks in her eyes. He was unable to see her cry. The sense of responsibility tripled since the time he learnt of Harsh's early demise. And the responsibility, mixed with the attraction he felt for her, made him go numb due to her tears.

After a long time, Shivaay stopped staring at her and turned back.

"If you want, you can lead the ritual. This is the 21st century. No one cares if you are a girl or a boy. It's both your right and responsibility."

"No," Annika said, "I am not strong enough to light fire on Papa's face. You do it."

Shivaay nodded. If she wanted him to do it, he would. He did not want to force her to anything.

"Everyone is waiting for you. Come with me."

"Did you know?"

Her question made him stop in his tracks.

"Sorry?"

"Did you know about Papa?"

Shivaay sighed. Annika heard with curious ears as he went on narrating the day.

*** 

"She clearly doesn't want to marry me," Shivaay spread the pictures from their engagement in front of Harsh's desk, "Why are you forcing her into it?"