the writer // harry styles au

chapter 34

Harry

Zayn looked pale. His complection was pasty. I'd underestimated his circumstance and then spent time fucking around with Alexis. The way his hands lay limply at his sides indicated his weakness, and the position he lay in was obviously the way the nurses had put him. He didn't look comfotable - he didn't look like Zayn. Hair unstyled, no words spilling from his mouth inspirationally. I missed my friend.

"Hey, mate," I say. He smiles weakly. "You're not dead enough to stay silent, are you?" I joke, and I'm glad he tries to laugh, because I wasn't sure whether it was too earlt to make a you nearly died joke.

"Might need a nice lady next to me to get my mouth moving like it used to," he says.

"Next to you?" I question. He just shrugs, a small smirk on his lips.

A few seconds after our small conversation, a breathless Niall stumbles into the room. He bends down, hands on his knee as he catches his breath. He's still in a grey suit, having come straight from work. His shoes, with quite the point on them, probably caused a few trips on his jog here, which would have been a sight to see.

"Fuck, he better be near dead or just been apart of a miracle otherwise that run was not worth it. Lena's going to murder me," Niall says, still out of breath.

I laugh, replying, "Just apart of a miracle, mate. Oh, he can hear you, too."

Niall stands upright, his face falling. He goes to apologise to Zayn, but he's interupted by the man himself, saying, "Good to know my friends would still be lighthearted in the event of my death."

"Laughter's the best medicine," Niall says. If this was two and half years ago, Niall never would have said that. Lena's too much on an influence on him. Zayn's face when he hears Niall say this is priceless, all scrunched and and shocked.

"Well, if that's true, you guys better make me laugh until my head isn't banging like I got absoloutely pissed last night," Zayn says.

We continue with the banter for a while, and for a short while I don't notice that Zayn's in a hospital, or that he nearly died; I don't remember the way Alexis' lips felt against mine, warm and softer than they've ever been before. I feel like me again, and nothing seems to be bothering me, and it's strange. I haven't felt worriless in what seems like years. I always seemed to be in a slump, whether it be mourning over my lost relationship with Alexis or trying to think of a book idea to pitch to my publishers. There was always this weight on my shoulders, pushing me down, but now something just feels right. And maybe it is right. Alexis doesn't seem so lost to me anymore; she seems closer than ever. My book is out, published and actually selling. I'm happy.

The doctor walks in and the first thought in my head is Oh, fuck because who else but my illeged lovers father could walk through that door? It feels like the first person he lays eyes on when he walks in is me, not his patient. He doesn't look angry, though. It's more of an observing stare, like he's trying to understand me just by the way I'm standing. He nods at me and then says my name, which couldn't be a good sign, could it? And then his eyes are off me and his intrest is souly on Zayn, asking him questions about how he's feeling, explaining that they drained his stomach of any and all fluids and drugs that were served to him. Zayn just laid their, calm as ever, nodding at everything the doctor said.

Niall slides up next to me, whispering, "How'd he know your name? You have surgery I didn't know about, Styles?"

I laugh. I don't even think he knows I've been apart of an affair with Alexis.

"He's Alexis' father," I explain.

Niall looks at me - actually, looks up at me - shocked. He shakes his head. "You met her parents whike you were.. what, dating? If that."

I adjust in my leaning positon against the wall. I'm not uncomfortable, just restless. I feel like I need to do something. I don't really feel like discussing Alexis anymore. I just want to keep her all to myself, make her only my business until she's only mine.

"No. Been having an.. affair, if you will, with Alexis and he just saw us making out in the elevator. Lex must have told him about me," I explain in what seems to be the most male-like way ever.

Niall scoffs next to me. "Fuck off. He didn't look that angry when he saw you. Weird," he says.

All I can do is agree because it is weird, and I thought that too.

***

My house doesn't seem as empty as it used to. For a while after Alexis and I went together, if you will, I didn't feel at home in my own house. It didn't right. I did, at one point, consider moving. I just wanted a fresh start. Everytime I walked past the wall opposite my kitchen I thought of the time I had her, skin to skin, all to myself and it was so good. I avoided the kitchen for a few days. Only ordered take out, enough for dinner and then whatever eating I'd do the next day. I couldn't bear the reminder of her that the wall provided provided me with.

I was on my laptop, shamefully looking up reviews of my book, when my doorbell rang. My mind didn't register who could be at the door, only the fact that someone was there. So I opened it, didn't question who would be at my door so late. And I was greeted with someone I thought I'd seen the last of.

Will stood still, his face was fuming. I'd never seen someone so angry.

"Look, we got this little problem out of the way a few days ago, but you couldn't stay away, could you?" he says. He steps into my house, not asking. "She wants to call of the engagment. Actually, she wants to call of us," he explains further.

He makes his way into my living room, and I follow. I don't want to aggrivate him further. He paces back and forth, maybe contemplating something. He probably wants to punch me.

"She wants you." Oh, God. She's making her move. "But she doesn't understand that I need her. I love her. I'm fucking angry!" He makes his way over to me, and I'm sure he's going to punch me, and I probably deserve it. I'm tearing his world apart.

And then he does it - that thing I thought he'd do. His fist collides with my face and fuck I don't remembering being punched hurting this bad. Although, the last time a guy hit me I was drunk as hell and don't really remember the night so well. I know he's going to go in for another punch after this one, but nothing comes my way. Nothing hits my gut, or my face, or my croth because she's here, and she's yelling at him to stop. I can her her footsteps getting closer, and the moment I'm ready to open my eyes, hers are right in front of me.

"Lex, I'm sorry," he says from behind her. She removes her gaze from me and turns to him.

"What the hell, Will?" she asks. Will moves in closs to her, putting both his hands on her cheeks and it hurts, seeing her so comfortable with someone else, seeing her not flinch or confused by his gesture because she knows him.

"You can't leave me, Lex. I love you. Oh, God, do I love you." He sounds so sincere, his pleading so true and genuine. He is broken.

Her head tilts up, looking right into his eyes.

"I'll prove it to you, Lex. I'll prove that my love is enough." He is desperate.

Her hands come up and stop ontop of hers. She can't take him back. I just felt like my whole world was right, and now it's falling apart, right infront of my eyes.

And then, it happens. "Okay," she says so softly, like she's broken, because she is. Will smiles, kisses her lips, and then he's ushering her out of the door.

Before they're all the way out the door, Alexis turns around. Her lips press into a smile, and then she mouths something to kenthat will be the cause of my death, and I'm not sure how I'm going to get through anything now. I love you.

And suddenly, that kitchen wall is something I can't care to look at anymore.

(A/N: hi guys! i'm not gonna lie, will's annoying the crap out of me, but it makes for a good story... right? i loveee seeing what you guys have to say so please comment! don't forget to vote!! xxxx)