the writer // harry styles au

chapter 16

Alexis

After Harry came, I did too. Multiple times more than I had before Harry had got there. Even with Will, this gorgeous, smart, successful man on top of me, all I could see was Harry. His pleading eyes, his messy and knotty hair, his face screamed to take him back, but his eyes had given up. He knew I was angry - I was really, really angry - yet he tried to get me back. I was so caught up on him even when I was angry with him all I wanted to do was get lost in his kiss.

When Will moved on top of me, perfectly and expertly, I imagined Harry's face. I remembered the way he had looked when we had sex. He was always on a mission. But not for his pleasure - for mine. It was nice. Will satisfied my every need, better than Harry did, but not how I liked it. I mean, I did like it. I just loved the way Harry had sex.

That doesn't even make sense, Alexis.

"Hey, where are you?" Will whispered from above me. His blue eyes searched mine, concern clear in his face. "Come back to me."

I pulled Will's face forward and kissed him, deep. He groaned into my kiss, continuing his deep thrusts. I let myself go, forget about Harry. I let myself feel without him. I don't want to be caught up on him, so I'll get caught up in someone else. I had had more sex with Will tonight that I ever had with Harry, which is seriously slutty because it's our first date.

Will's still a gentleman, with the best smile and starring personality. I could get wrapped up in him. Easy. I could let him take me out to dinner, have him sleepover at my flat, maybe sleep over at his. I want to have an actual relationship with him, like a normal adult who has a normal love life with normal, non-near-psychopathic novelists who constantly smell of musk and old books.

I rolled my hips up towards Will's, showing him I was here, with him, only thinking of him. If only that were true.

***

Jess stared at me. She always had something to say, whether it be regarding how self-checkouts are like black-holes and take years to get through or how much she thought that the James Bond franchise had gone on long enough and need to to 'shoot it's self dead'. But here we were, waiting on food in some rustic restaurant where everything smelt like tofu, cheese and oak wood, yet she hadn't a word to speak.

It was eating away at me. I needed her advice on how to deal with this. She had told me to have a fling, get over Harry, and move on. Now I'm stuck between two relationships and one of them is in love with me. She'll say Harry, because she thinks logically. She'll say Harry because I should be with the man that loves me, not the one that fucks me. He could fall in love with you, though.

I hear a croak from her throat and I straighten my posture, ready for what she has to say.

"You lucky bitch." A smirk is on her face. Of course she'd open with an insult.

"Here you are, two good looking men in the palm of your hands. Both ripe, hot and utterly successful." Her hands are waving gestures all around, waving and flying.

"Get on with it, Jess. Tell me what to do," I interrupt. She's babbling.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do," she tuts, index finger pointed at my face. "But I ask you this, Ms. Russel: are you ready to love?"

Now I'm the one staring, completely mute at what Jess has just asked me. Am I ready to love? Am I even in love? I'm not in love with Harry. Not yet. I'm 24 years old. I'm not in love with Harry; I'm infatuated by him. His smile, face, charm. It's totally different. Maybe, if he would consider, one day, taking me back after I've realised that what I may have here is love, then I would be ready to love. I just need a month, or several, to really know what I feel.

I look up at Jess shaking my face from it's frozen, shocked state. And I stutter: "No. No, I'm not ready to love. Not yet."

She leans back in her chest, wine glass in hand and a stern look on her face. "There it is. That's your answer."

I laughed. "You basically just told me what to do," I said.

"Well, Alexis, we all knew that was going to happen. You know me, I know you, you know nothing." I looked at her wide eyed. "Okay, not nothing. You know stuff." She sipped her wine, sinking down lower into her seat.

(A/N: Hi! So, the next chapter of the fanfic is really going to change up the story line. It's not going to turn the story on it's head or anything. Just change things up. Don't forget to vote and comment!)