the writer // harry styles au

chapter 39

Harry

I ran my finger tips up and down her naked back. Her warm chest pressed againts mine. I could feel the way her heart was racing, like it wanted to pound it'd way out of her. I couldn't help but wonder whether that fast strum was because of me or from what we'd just down, wearing our bodies out, sweating until we couldn't notice the wet dropping down our foreheads.

She had to go home to Will at some point. She had to tell him she hadn't had a clear concious, that the love she felt for him wasn't even close to a quarter of what she feels for me. There's this litle part in the back of my mind, forcing it's way into my concern: is this some sort of Jay Gatsby situation? He had wanted Daisy to tell Tom that she never loved him, but Daisy couldn't do it because she had loved Tom once. Was I going to loose my mind? Would I yell in the face of Will, be uncivilised and so overly consumed by my love for Alexis that I loose myself? Just imagining Alexis in love with someone else makes me sick. I couldn't bring myself to think of what my life would turn into if after this night she doesn't give herself fully to me.

She's a strong girl, and I know that even with her heart I will never have her fully. She will find other things to occupy herself with throughout our hopeful life together. I would never expect her to solely focus all of her time on being my lover, my girlfriend, my wife. She will be great, and I will be by her side as she will be by mine.

"Harry," Alexis softly slurred.

I slumped lower in the bed, allowing our faces to be opposite each other. My feet were hanging off the edge of the bed, an uncomfortable breeze hitting them, but the heat of her skin makes up for that.

"Mmm," I hummed into her chest. I placed small, light kisses along the soft skin as my arms wind aroung her waist, pulling her tightly to my body.

"I'm going to tell him. Will, that is. I'll ask him out to lunch." She pressed her hands to the sides of my face and forcesdmy eyes to meet hers. The blue in her eyes was deeper. It tends to vary. Somedays it's a deep blue, like the ocean late at night, with light from the moon hitting the horizon softy. Then there's a light blue, like the shade that finds it way winding through a sunset on a warm summers night.

"Don't tell him at lunch. Well, you can tell him at lunch, just do it at your place. Make it personal. Don't say anything like, 'It's just not right anymore..' because he thought it was all alright only minutes before you'll tell him that. Say you need to be happy. No, say you need to be happier; you don't want him to think you weren't happy with him. Explain why you need to leave him," I told her, and it pained me. I had to admit that she was happy without me. I had to ruin a relationship, and maybe make this poor lad have commitment issues for the rest of his life.

Alexis looked down at me, this look of admiration and happiness on her face. The epitome of etheral beauty.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Oh, and do I love you." I let my face move in closer to hers, and then pressed out lips so sweetly together that I needed more. I rolled myself over and on top of her, ready to loose myself in her again.

(A/N: I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SUCH A LATE AND SMALL UPDATE I JUST THOUGHT THIS WAS BETTER THAN NOTHING. SORRY SORRY SORRY. PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT LOVELIES! xxxxxx)