the writer // harry styles au

chapter 12

Alexis

Alice. Alice? Alice? I didn't know what to do. Potential and probable boyfriend calls you by a different name, that happens to be the name of the protagonist in his new novel. Not as bad as him sleeping with a girl called Alice and then calling me that. But maybe it is actually worse.

Maybe, after all this time, he wasn't taking me out. He was taking her out. This.. character. Maybe it was her he was picturing when we were having dinner, her who he was so desperately infatuated with. Maybe when we're lying down on his couch it's her he sees in his arms, and I'm just reality's substitute.

Harry was looking up at me wide eyed. He couldn't form a coherent sentence, only 'ums' and 'ahs' leaving his perfect, soft lips. His long, brown locks were being ruffled, hands running through them each second. Stand up, you idiot, I thought. Stand up and tell me it was a mistake. That you only said that because you were thinking about the novel and the plot. Please don't tell me you were thinking I was her.

He didn't. He didn't stand, protest, or plead. He sat, quietly, wordlessly.

"I'm leaving now," I said.

Stand up, kiss me, plead.

He stayed slumped on the couch. "I'm sorry." Not good enough.

"Goodnight," I said. I couldn't bear to speak his name, or hear him actually say mine.

He nodded, sweetly smiled at me, and then moved his gaze to his lap. God, this was ridiculous. I just need to leave, and if he needs me - Alexis - he can call. Maybe actually apologise and explain.

I walked straight to the door; I didn't wander. I needed out, fresh air. I felt like the pristine, white walls and tall ceilings were trapping me, keeping me in. I needed out. Get me out.

***

Sat, head in Jess' lap, I was mindless. Nothing was registering. I couldn't listen to her reassuring advice, it was all just fuzz. Went in one ear leaves out the other. I fucking hated this.

He's gotten into my head, made me get used to him, his feel, his touch. God, I just want to see him smile. But it's so pathetic, and all I do is tell myself that. I tell myself, C'mon, Alexis. What's it been? Two weeks? A month? Get over yourself, find a hot guy, fuck, and your done with Harry fucking Styles.

It hadn't worked, though, finding a new guy. I'd tried last night, going out to this mellow club with bad pop music playing in the background that's packed with hot guys who have a constant smoulder on their face. I met this guy - Will - and had spent maybe 2 hours him, just talking, flirting. Man, he was hot. Tattoos on his chest - like Harry - and successful - like Harry. And somehow, everything Will was, Harry was too. But I tried. He'd leaned in so close I could smell his expensive cologne and could practically taste the scotch on his breath. He'd kissed me long and passionately. Better than Harry, but not as soft, or loving. Not as good in my mind. But I kept going, pulling him closer, then to the men's bathroom and into the last stall. He was hot and good at what he was doing, pressing me to the wall so desperately. But it wasn't Harry, and fuck if something irritated me more than the thought of Harry, I would like to know what because maybe it'd distract me from him.

"-asshole. Incompetent asshole," I heard Jess say about me.

"Harry?" I questioned. I didn't know who she was going on about.

She sighed. "No. You." She pointed at me. I expected her to laugh and say, "Of course Harry," like she usually did with things, but she didn't. Her face stayed straight.

"Why am I the incompetent asshole? I wouldn't say I'm incompetent."

"Okay, maybe just an asshole," she laughed.

"So why am I an asshole?" I asked. She smiles, shuffling in her position.

"Well, you're supposed to let him explain before you totally walk out on him," she said. "I mean, maybe he was thinking about the book plot? Came up with a new thing to add in that Alice would do and it accidentally slipped his mind that it was you and not Alice."

"That's what I was thinking," I said. I moved to sit upright, then turned to face Jess, cross-legged. "But why wouldn't he just correct himself straight away? He didn't realise until a few seconds after, like it was normal for him to say 'Goodnight, Alice'." I let out a breath. I could feel tears threatening to spill from my eyes. No, I thought. I won't cry.

"Don't cry, Lex," Jess said in a soothing, soft tone.

"I won't," I said. "I will not cry over a fucking boy. Not ever. They don't deserve it."

Jess sat silently, playing with her hands in her lap. She'd gone mute, which was uncommon. I wanted her to laugh or tell me to shut the fuck up and cry my eyes out because that's what I'm supposed to do. She didn't, though.

She lifted her head, saying, "Did you get that guy's number? The one from last night?" she asked.

I nodded, but only slightly. I want sure about what she was going to propose. I wasn't really up to fucking him again.

"Ask him on a date," she said. "Sometime next week so you can get yourself together. Just try it, okay? That's all I ask."

I nodded. She reached for my phone, going to the contacts, then looked up at me. "Will Senate," I told her. She gave me a look, a scowl like look.

"What?" I asked.

"Senate?"

I nodded my head. "Doesn't bother me. He's hot," I said.

"Fair enough."

She scrolled to his name, pressing dial, then shoved the phone at me.

Oh, God.

"Hello?" his deep voice rang through the line.

"Hi, Will. It's Alexis, from last night?" I said. He probably just wanted a one night stand and was annoyed that I was calling him.

"Ah, Alexis from last night." He paused, chuckling. "I was going to call you, but I didn't have your number."

I laughed, awkwardly. Hot guy wanted my number? Cool with me. Totally cool with me.

"Did you want to get dinner? Like, on Friday night?" I asked. Don't reject me, don't reject me.

"Sounds great. I'll text you details," he said.

I breathed in. Success. "Great. See you then, then," I said.

His deep, chuckle ran through the phone. Last night it had made me stir in my seat, only thinking of Harry's husky laugh. But now, Will's chuckle seemed so much sexier and more about him than the reminder of Harry. Not every man was just like Harry, and I will make sure Will won't be.

"See you then, then."

Alexis: 1; Harry-fucking-Styles: 0

(A/N: Hi guys! It is insane that the writer is on 211 reads! Don't forget to keep voting !!! Absolutely insane that people are actually reading this and adding it the their reading lists. Insane. )