Scared (L.S)

thirty one

"You mean he's never drunk at all," Gemma said in a teasing tone, knowing fully well that he had before.

"Fuck off!" Harry said, his voice muffled by Louis' skin. Louis rolled his eyes jokingly at Gemma, rubbing Harry's back.

"So what're we doing today?" Louis asked, mostly to Gemma but also glancing at the others around the room.

"I was thinking we could go 'round campus, show you around, Louis?" Gemma suggested.

"Sounds good," Louis replied before looking down at Harry, "What do you think, baby?"

Harry looked up at Louis and smiled at the older boy's soft smile before nodding and leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. Louis' smile grew but the pair were interrupted by the sound of gagging. They looked up to see Gemma fake puking.

"Piss off," Harry said to his sister.

"Leave 'em alone, Gem," Niall added as he started putting plates of food on the table, "They're cute."

---

That day, Gemma showed them around her campus, pointing out a lot of her favourite spots and introducing the two boys to many people she knew, "This is my brother, Harry, and his boyfriend, Louis."

They went out for dinner with Niall, Danielle, and Liam all joining, and then they all went back to the house, watching movies until Harry had fallen asleep in Louis' arms, forcing the older boy to carry his boyfriend to bed.

The weekend had been absolutely perfect and both boys loved being able to show their love for each other openly, something they had only been able to do by driving 40 minutes away, or by hiding in Harry's house.

They left Gemma's house early on Sunday morning, eager to get home and finish the homework they had put off all weekend, but reluctant to leave such happiness.

When Louis pulled the car into Harry's driveway, he turned off the car, unbuckled his seatbelt, and moved to leave the car, but was stopped by Harry reaching to place his hand on Louis' arms.

"Yeah, babe?" Louis asked, turning to look at his boyfriend.

"We need to talk, Lou." Immediately Louis felt blood rushing to his head.

"What?" He choked out.

"I can't do this anymore," Harry said, not looking at Louis, not noticing that the boy had stopped breathing.

"No, no!" Louis exclaimed, "No, I love you, you can't break up with me."

Harry immediately whipped his head around, "No! Louis, I'm not breaking up with you, I could never break up with you."

"Oh thank God," Louis breathed out, putting a hand on his chest. Harry reached up to take it in his own hand.

"I love you, Louis," Harry said.

"Good. I love you, too," Louis replied.

"But I want to be out."

"Harry," Louis said with a sigh.

"I want to be out," Harry repeated, not looking at Louis.

Honestly, Louis should've known that this would be coming. After their weekend of being out went absolutely blissfully, of course, Harry would want to be out.

"Can we talk about this?" Louis finally asked.

Harry nodded and squeezed Louis' hand, although neither boy was looking at the other.

"Just... Why, Harry?"

"It was so great, this weekend, Lou. I want it to be like that all the time. I want to be able to hug you, and kiss you, and sit on your lap. I just want to be able to be with you all the time, Louis, and I don't want to be scared all the time. Scared of people seeing us. I love you, Louis, and I just want everyone to know."

Louis' chest was tight but he tried his best to stay calm. "Harry. You know it won't be like how it was in Liverpool. People at school will care."

"No one will care, Louis," Harry argued.

"I'm scared they will, Harry. What about when the footie team finds out I'm gay. They won't want me in the change rooms with them. They won't want me around them. I'll probably have to quit the team and-and worst of all," Louis hiccuped, "I'm scared they're gonna hurt you."

Harry turned to look at Louis, both boys had tears shining in their eyes. "I'll be fine, boo."

"But what if you're not Harry? What if I can't be there to protect you? If something were to happen to you, Harry, I swear to God it would kill me."

"Nothing is going to happen, Louis, it's the twenty-first century, no one even cares." Louis tensed but Harry didn't seem to notice. "Some kids might make fun of us but isn't it worth it?" Harry begged, trying to get Louis to look at him, "Won't it be worth it if we can be out and together and-and just in love?"

"Harry," Louis said quietly. He reached up with the hand not in Harry's grasp and rubbed his face, wiping some tears away. "People care, my own fucking mother cared."

Both boys sat in silence for a minute before Harry spoke, "I'm really sorry about your mum, Lou."

Louis nodded and turned to Harry, eyes red and puffy but Harry's were almost the same. "C'mere," Harry muttered, opening his arms for Louis.

The older boy climbed over the centre console and let himself fall into Harry's open arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around Harry's torso, straddling the boy's thighs while Harry brought his own hands up to Louis' face, using them to scratch the back of his scalp lightly with his fingers while wiping away his tears with his thumbs.

Louis did his best to time his breaths to Harry's, a technique they had come up with together after Louis' third night of crying and nightmares, just a few weeks before.

"I'm sorry," Louis said after he had calmed down. Harry nodded in understanding but continued to scratch Louis' scalp, not saying anything. "I'm scared," Louis whispered.

"I know," Harry whispered back. Louis leaned in and began to press kisses to Harry's face, his cheeks, nose and forehead, muttering the words "thank you" in between.

Louis leaned in once more to press a kiss to the corner of Harry's mouth but Harry turned his head so their lips connected instead, bringing an instant smile to both of their faces. They kissed innocently for a moment before Louis pulled away to look at Harry, the smile on his lips sharp in contrast with his red rimmed eyes and blotchy face.

"I love you," Louis said quietly.

"Love you too," Harry whispered back, letting his hands slip down to Louis' hips and squeezing lightly. Louis took a deep breath and pressed himself into Harry, forcing the boy, although he didn't complain, to embrace him.

They remained hugging for a few minutes before Louis whispered into Harry's neck, "I'll think about it."

"Huh?" Harry replied.

"About coming out. I want you to have everything, H, so I'll think about it."

---

this was supposed to be a cliffhanger but im too nice lol

also hi mel, hope you're reading this, I didn't want to message you and get you in trouble but love you and lmk where I can talk to you without that happening

love you all

xx