Chapter Forty

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A/N: Chapter Forty?! lol damn how long have I been writing this?



Yuzuru:

As soon as Javi left my room, the shaking started. It began in my fingers. Travelled all the way up the length of my arms and drifted as a shiver down my spine...then my knees. Soon my whole body was trembling and I couldn't stand anymore.

"Kuso." I whispered as my head sank into my pillows. I hadn't expected it to hurt this much. It felt like the right thing to do. I knew that much...but it still hurt like hell. My lungs felt tight and I couldn't breathe. It was the first time in forever that I had to wonder where my asthma pump was. The pain in my chest sharpened and I had to roll onto my back, gasping into the air to get enough oxygen to breathe. Oh my God.

"Yuzu? Yuzu, what..." I felt the bed dip as my mother's face swam in front of my watering eyes. "Oh, Yuzu...what did you do?" She asked softly, brushing her fingers over my cheeks.





"Do you want me to bring you some breakfast?"

"I'm fine."

"Just some tea?" My stomach cramped at the thought.

"No."

"You need to eat something."

"Later."

"I can make you some - "

"Later." I muttered again and covered my face with my blanket so my mother would leave. It was a while before I heard her sigh and the door closed quietly. Breakfast? How long had I even been in here? I felt around in the dark for my phone and pressed the button to check the time. 06:45. I'd never been off the ice for this long my whole life.

I groaned as I sat up and glared at my ankle that was still vaguely throbbing with pain. I'd thought it was getting better but I must have knocked it against something in my sleep. Damn it. I swiped up the screen so I could message my doctor about anything that could help when I saw I had a few messages from Javi. That breathless feeling was back and as much as I wanted to ignore them...

JV: Is this really it?

JV: Yuzu?

JV: Please don't ignore me?

JV: Is this about all those stupid videos?

JV: I'm sorry I shouted earlier. I was angry because I was frustrated and confused and I really just want to know if we can sit down and talk about this? Please? Just...call me when you're ready to talk. I love you.

I let out a shaky sigh and fell back on the bed. Fuck.





My mother was in the kitchen when I finally ventured out of my room later that afternoon. Her eyes flickered towards me, then hardened suddenly as she put down a plate of food on the table.

"Sit." I blinked a little at her bluntness, but I said nothing and sat down at the table. She set out a few more things in front of me before she sat down opposite me and folded her arms.

"What?" I asked her when she didn't say anything either. Her eyes narrowed and her cheeks puffed as she exploded.

"You have the nerve to ask me? Don't look at me like that. I've been worried sick for days. If I didn't call Javi I would still be wondering if I should drag you out of bed myself and take you to the hospital." I scoffed a little at that, but I shut my mouth at the glare my mother gave me. "Yuzu...What did you do?" She asked me again. I didn't know how to answer her though.

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