The Ice Prince // Yuzuvier Fan Fic

Chapter Thirty Eight

Yuzuru:

"Yuzu." Javi nudged me gently but I didn't respond. He let out a sigh too soft for me to hear, but I felt his breath flutter over my shoulder. "Yuzu, are you mad?" He asked me quietly and I closed my eyes. Was I mad? In a way, yes; I was mad at myself...because I knew it. I knew that keeping anything in the world as an athlete in the public eye was next to impossible, but for some stupid reason I'd believed Javi when he said no one was watching us. They were all watching. The whole world was watching us. It was almost demented how MUCH they were watching us, piecing every little piece of us together so accurately it was scary. Dozens of videos...

"Yuzu..."

"I'm not mad at you." I whispered and his hand dropped on my arm, rubbing it up and down slowly. "But I told you."

"I know."

"The whole world knows about us."

"Not really. They're just...guessing."

"They know enough." I grumbled and Javi sat up on the bed with a hopeful look on his face.

"Exactly. They know enough and the fact that nothing has changed should tell us something, right?" He spoke quickly like he did when he was getting excited about something. "I mean, I know you were looking at the videos but did you even look at any of the comments people were making. REALLY look at them? I know sometimes there are a few rotten eggs, but everyone doesn't really seem to mind."

He was wrong. I had been looking at the comments. He WASN'T wrong that most of them had been positive. But there was something about that that just made it all seem worse somehow. It felt like a trap. Right now everyone was nice but if anything became fact...my heart squeezed at the possible backlash.

"Javi..."

"I love you." He blurted suddenly and whatever it is I'd been about to say disappeared from my mind like a wisp of fog.

"What?"

"I love you." He said more firmly and reached for my hand while I lay there looking up at him with my mouth hanging open. "I love you and I want to tell my Mamá and my father that I love you. I want to tell my friends. I want to tell the world." He sucked in a deep breath. "You're really special to me, Yuzu. I want you to know that. I want everyone to know that. Aishiteru." The words sent a chill down my spine that made me tremble and I could feel myself breathing but there definitely wasn't enough air in my lungs.

"You love ...me?"

"Of course I love you. Do you even know how amazing you are?" He breathed and let go of my hands so he could cup his around my face. His hands were so warm. "How beautiful. Smart. Kind. Gifted. I'm so in love with you it..." He sucked in breath and with a start I realized there were tears in his eyes, but he blinked them away. "It just feels really good to say it." He finished quietly.

Besides my family, I'd never really had anyone else say those words to me and mean them. And I could feel it...how much he meant them. It buzzed on my skin like it was alive and made my heart beat so fast. Oh my God...He loved me...

"I - "

"You don't have to say it back." He said, stilling my words with a quick caress of his thumb over my lips. "Not now."

"But - "

"Not now, Yuzu. OK?" He leaned down to kiss my forehead softly, his thumb moving to stroke my cheek now. I could feel it when he smiled, his beard tickling my skin. "My little dumpling. You're so cute."

"I'm a grown man." I muttered without heat and he chuckled before kissing my forehead again.

"I know."