FIND ME (BXB)

Chapter 1

"No, it won't!" Niel, my best friend, shouted on the top of his lungs to show us how much he disagrees and I sat there in surprise. I stared in guilt as he kept his head low; Ashamed of his parents; Ashamed of my mom and of course-

It's all because of me.

And here I thought everything will work out just fine...

We're mates. We will be together forever. He'll finally love me as much as I love him but-

How stupid of me for thinking it'll work easily.

I bit my lower lip trying not to let a tear fall while clenching my fist against my jeans.

"Come on Niel, he's your mate! There's nothing we could do about this!" His father, Mr. Ackerman shouted at him. Hiding his disapproval on how his son ended up having a mate like me.

A guy who can't even bear a child and a fallen omega as well...

My Dad and Mom were both Betas and so do I- I mean I used to be but when they learned about my disability, the title of the useless was then given to me.

I clenched my fist as I held back the tears. But I still have feelings though.

"But dad!" Niel finally looked up and threw a furious glare at our Alpha who wasn't pleased by it. "Look at him, he's...he's a guy! Who wanted to have a mate like that?! I don't want to embarrass myself more than this!"

I bit my lower lip as I heard how disgusted he was.

No Harris...please don't cry.

Not here. Not now- I sniffed.

But it hurts.

My mom touched my shaking hands causing me to look up at her and smile sadly.

How did it end up like this?

Of course I'm glad that it's Niel, my best friend; My future Alpha; My very first love and the guy whom I always prayed for the Moon Goddess to be mine but now... I don't know if I want this anymore.

Our eyes met and I immediately looked away.

It seems like he was at a loss of words and ended up bursting insults without thinking like he always does. I know that he didn't mean it, he was just emotionally unstable right now but no matter how guilty he was, he already made it clear to me.

I'm disgusting and he's always been aware of that.

"What are we going to do?" Mrs. Ackerman, my Luna, asked her husband. "Niel taking over the title will be announced next month and we planned to do the ceremony next full moon with his mate. This is a huge disgrace-"

"Dianna!" The Alpha cuts her off and the nice woman I used to know immediately stiffen in fear on how mad her husband became after hearing her words.

My sight started to blur up, hates how messed up the situation became but I wanted this. I wanted my mate to be Niel but...but I guess I'm being selfish.

I was glad that Niel accepted me after telling him that I am gay and I fell harder for him, wishing that it's him without thinking how heavy the circumstances will be.

Niel does loves me, yeah. I could feel it but it's just for friends nothing more... and now he's in pain and in so much pressure because of me.

Because I wasn't thinking and was being too selfish.

"Then let's-"

"No, you don't have to worry, my Alpha.." I cut him off before he could say another word as I stood up. Feeling uncomfortable with their eyes on me, especially on how Niel stared at me. "I apologise for what happened. I-I am not suited to be his mate after all." I clenched my fist as I bit my lower lip.