FIND ME (BXB)

Chapter 15

Did I do something wrong? Why do I feel guilty?

I closed my eyes as I stared at the ceiling trying to understand why he seemed so betrayed when he was the one who pushed me first.

I can't forget how Niel stared at me full of pain, hatred, sadness, regret... everything I felt when they threw me out.

He doesn't deserve it.

"Hey?" Liam patted my head. I looked up at him, my eyes swollen from crying. "I brought you some food, you haven't eaten anything since we came home."

I stared at the tray of soup and bread before shaking my head.

I don't want to talk...I don't want to do anything now.

Why am I feeling so depressed? It's just so not me... Lucas told me once that mates have this strong connection like twins. Does Niel feel the same way? Then back then, did he feel my pain too?

"You have to eat!" My eyes widened when he suddenly pulled my hands up to sit on his bed. I frowned as I glared at the food. "Stop glaring at the g*ddamn food and eat."

"I don't have any appetite." I said weakly and Liam sighed.

"Look at me." I shook my head. I felt him sit beside me before he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. "Don't depress yourself."

"I'm not." I leaned my head on his shoulder, loving the warmth. This is not my feelings...it's Niel's.

"Then what's the matter?" He pulled me closer and now both of his arms are around me.

He's being clingy again. I still can't believe it when he was so cold back then.

"I don't know...I felt like I did something horrible." I clenched my fist. "I've never seen him like that before..." I closed my eyes. "I can't believe I hurt him again. I'm always hurting him when all he does is to be there all the time." I said in guilt.

"Harris." Liam hugged me tightly, giving me all the comfort I needed. The comfort I used to receive from Niel.

"Si-since we were young, I've always given him trouble," My eyes are tired but I can't stop crying.

Whenever I see his reaction in my mind...pain just keeps on coming back.

"I can't catch up to him...he's ruining his grade just to stay in the same class with me. He's alway prioritising me all the time..." I snuggled on his chest. "He did nothing but be kind to me but... I'm always, always-"

"Shh..." He brushed my hair slowly as he patted my back. "It's alright Harris."

"How can i-it be alright?!" He suddenly patted my head before looking at me straight to my eyes.

"Believe me, I can feel it but first you have to eat." He pulled away and smiled.

"Liam..." I slowly pulled away before nodding.

"You've forgotten your place." My eyes widened and he smirked. "But I like the sound of it. Please call me that from now on." I smiled when I saw how happy he was. "Now eat."

"Okay." He put the tray on the bed and I started eating. I don't have the appetite to be honest but Liam will never stop bothering me, I sighed.

I'm glad that I have him.

***

"Really?!" I asked with a very wide smile on my face.

"Yup, you don't have to clean our rooms anymore. Someone will do it for you." Liam said as he dried his hair on the other side of the bed with his back on me while I'm still wing lazy on his bed.