The stories that killed their writer

Chapter 10: Dr.Hansen

- 2 days later -

Lana's POV

I had been preparing for my talk with Dr.Hansen for 2 days now. I had been going over the conversation in my head. I had been thinking about what I would say or what she could be asking. I had been wondering if I would tell her about Shax and the rest, or not. I wasn't sure. I always said I didn't want to involve too many people...

"Hey," Melody said as she sat down with me at the dining table. "Are you ready for your appointment?"

I shrugged. "I don't know what to expect," I looked at her. "What do I do? What do I say?"

"I don't know," She smiled a bit at me, trying to comfort me. "But it'll all go naturally, I'm sure of that."

"How is therapy supposed to go naturally?"

She chuckled a bit. "She's trained to help you, she'll know how to make you feel comfortable."

"I guess."

She put her hand on mine. "You're going to be fine, let her help you, ok?"

I looked at our hands before nodding.

"Good."

_________________________

Melody insisted she'd drive me. She wanted to support me all the way to the appointment, that's what she said though. But I figured she was also nervous about this appointment and just wanted to be there with me. Or maybe she didn't want to let me be alone...

We stopped at a traffic light. Melody looked at me. "I'm really happy you're doing this, Lana."

I looked at her before shrugging.

"I really am," She smiled at me. "This will help you, it will help us."

I frowned then. It will help us, what did we need help with? I thought she wanted me to talk to a psychologist because I was 'depressed'...

"When you're done with this, things can be normal," She let out a sigh. "You could find a good job, one that will give you the stability you need."

I looked at her. "But Mel - "

"And then we have enough money for our future family."

I raised my eyebrows. "Our future family?"

She smiled a bit, a slight blush appeared on her face as if she had said something she didn't intend to. "Yes," She glanced at me. "Our kids, Lana."

"K-kids?"

She parked the car in front of this house, before looking at me again. "Yes, kids," She reached for my hands, taking them in hers. "Don't you want us to have kids?"

I blinked a few times. Kids? Did I want them? I guess... But what about Shax? It'd hurt them...

"Lana?"

I looked at her again.

Melody showed me a small smile, but I could see she was worried. She caressed my face. "First we start with therapy."

I gulped but nodded.

"Shall I go with you?"

I then looked at the house. "Is it really here?"

Melody then looked at the house too. "Yes," She then looked at me. "Why?"

"It doesn't look like a professional setting," I looked at her again. "I find that odd."

"It's to make you feel more comfortable, Lana."

I slowly nodded but didn't believe that to be the reason.

"So, shall I go with you?"

I looked at her again. "No," I gulped. "I think I need to do this on my own."

Melody smiled and nodded. "I'll wait here."

I nodded before opening the car. 

"Lana?"

I looked at Melody again.

She went through her purse before retrieving her wallet. "Here."

I looked at it.

"You have to pay."

"Right," I took her wallet. "Thanks." I then closed the door and walked to the house. I rang the doorbell and waited. While I waited, I looked at Melody's wallet again. It felt so embarrassing to have her pay for me. I knew I could pay for myself, but somehow she always doubted that. She couldn't understand that writers do make money too.

The door opened and revealed a young woman. "Lana Edward?"

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I seemed lost for words, and I didn't like that.

"Is that correct?"

I simply nodded.

"Very well." She went aside and motioned me to enter the house.

I hesitantly did and immediately looked around. I noticed a regular looking hallway, though it was a bit more bland than usual. It lacked that feeling of home, of family. There was simply nothing on the walls nor any decorations.

"Follow me," She walked to a door on the right side and opened it. In there, I saw what I would call a therapy room. 2 one-man sofas across from each other with a little table beside one sofa. "Have a seat."

I sat down on the sofa and looked around some more. This too was a sadly decorated room: no pictures, no decorations, just bland walls. Perhaps because it's better for therapy?

"So Lana," The woman said as she took some papers and a pen. "What brings you here?"

I looked at the woman and once again seemed lost for words. What was I doing here? I wouldn't even know... "I don't know."

She nodded and started writing.

I watched her do it. She was writing for a while, while I simply said 'I don't know'... What on earth was she writing down?

She then looked at me. She didn't ask me anything, she didn't talk to me, she just looked.

I gulped and looked away. I noticed the door to this room was closed. Would other people live in this house? I frowned then, why would I care about that? Would Shax be here? Would it follow me?

The woman then started writing again.

I looked at her. "What are you writing?"

She glanced at me. "These are my notes on you." She showed me a polite smile before continuing to write.

I gulped. Notes on me... What does that mean? What notes? I haven't even said anything.

When she was done writing, she looked at me again. Once again, she didn't ask anything, she didn't talk, she just looked. And it tore me apart. It reminded me so much of... Of... Of Shax...

"I'm not depressed."

She nodded slowly.

"I really am not depressed. Everyone thinks I am because I jumped out of a window."

The woman rearranged her way of sitting before looking at me. "What made you jump?"

There it was: the question. Would I answer truthfully? She'd think I'm crazy though. But if I lie, nothing will change... "Something is out to get me."

She looked up at me. "What?"

I gulped once more, I was so afraid to say its name out loud: "Shax."