Sister protection program

1 • leave me alone

Class was hard. Today we went over heart failure in my pre med class. Sam died of heart failure.

Sam was born with a weak heart and had multiple surgies through the years. We knew it was possible Sam could die prematurely, so I'm not surprised he told his fuckboy friends to "take care of me" if anything happened.
But still. My old bullies?? Sam knew I hated them. I refuse to believe Sam would do that to me.
I tap my pin on my notebook but eventually, I just can't take class anymore.
I quietly pack up my things, stuff them in my backpack and exit the back of the classroom.

All I can think about are those boys. I mean, who the fuck do they think they are?
I'm fine. I don't need anyone to take care of me. I've been doing it fine all these years.

I quickly make my way through the halls and two staircases out of the building. I push through the doors into the courtyard of my college campus. I take a breath of the air and look around at all the trees and grass and-

"No fucking way." I mumble to myself. All four of the boys are sitting on the picnic tables outside the building. I pull my backpack up my shoulder and turn on my heals in the opposite direction but it's too late they all jump up and run after me. "Lillian!" I stop and roll my eyes.

I hear the footsteps run up behind me.
Calum grabs my shoulder and turns me around. "Lillian please." He begs out of breath. "What are you guys doing here? You're stocking me now?" I snap.
"Just please hear us out" Ashton pleads.
"Why should I?" I sharply respond throwing my hands up.
"Because it's what Sam wanted." Louis tries to reason.
Or was it Lukas? I don't remember and don't care to.

"And why would my brother want my school bullies to 'watch out for me'?" I ask and cross my arms. "He knew I hated you guys! You expect me to believe he left you clowns to replace him?!" I raise my voice as various students around us start staring.

"That's all behind us! Yes, we treated you like shit and we are very sorry, but then we changed!" Micheal explains taking his hands out of his hoodie pockets in defeat.

People change,  but not that much.

I bite the inside of my cheek annoyed.
"Lillian just give us a chance. Just let us talk" Luke begs looking into my eyes.
He looked desperate as if it was his death bed wish.

I stand there in silence moving hair that blew in my face and tucked it behind my ear. "I am
fine. I don't need any 'guardian angels' or anyone to 'watch out for me' ok" I cross my arms beyond frustrated and start to walk off but Ashton grabs my arm. "Lillian you're a mess" he softly speaks reaching for my hand and unclasping it revealing used tissues. My face falls and my arms fall to rest beside me.

Calum steps forward
"You have bags under your eyes, you were crying when we came to your dorm last week, and you haven't changed out of your sweats" Calum points to my sweat pants and sweat shirt, the same ones I was wearing when they came to my dorm.
Doing my laundry has not been on my priority list in weeks.

"It's only been two months, ok?! I'm allowed to be like this!" I defend myself getting tired of the conversation.
"Of course you are! But you don't have to grieve alone, Lillian." Michael steps forward.
"Just give us a chance" Ashton whispers desperate.

"Why the fuck should I?!" I say stepping back.
"When was the last time you lived with Sam?" Luke suddenly asks. I'm taken back by the question.
"What does that have anything to do-"
"When was the last time you lived with sam?"
He repeats more firmly.
"We were 15" I mumble.
"We've been best friends since 14. We lived with him since we were 17. Like it or not we're the closest you have to Sam." Luke explains.

I don't respond. I knew that after I moved with dad to Melbourne Sam became friends with these boys, but best friends seems like an overstatement to me.

"You tried but you and Sam weren't really close 8 hours apart. We were. Don't you want to find out more about your brother?" Calum asks handing me something. I take it in my hand and freeze.

It's one of Sam and I's bracelets we made in elementary school. "How did you get this??" I ask angrily stepping forward gripping it tightly.
"Have you not listened to us??" Michel asks and Luke hits his arm. "We told you, we were his best friends. ...he wore it everywhere. We thought you would want it." Luke trails off.

I stand for a moment then shake my head. "No. No I don't. Leave me alone!" I say shoving the bracelet back at his chest and turn away and walk to my dorm, thankfully they didn't follow.

I run and run until I reach my dorm on the edge of campus.
I storm through the lobby down the hall to my door. I fumble with my key, run in and jump on my bed.
I sigh.

I turn over to look out my window.
I cannot believe them.
I look over to my desk at the picture of Sam and sigh.
I let go of my balled fists and sigh.
Maybe they were right. Maybe I did want to know more about Sam.
I never liked Sam being friends with them and whenever I visited him he wouldn't hang out with them because he knew the fued.

Our parents split soon after we started highschool. I moved away and lived with dad while Sam stayed and lived with mom which caused us to drift apart.

My door opens and it's my suite-mate Aubrey. "Hey Lillian, are you alright?"
She softly asks. I sit up.
I nod.
Aubrey is very pretty with straight auburn hair and freckles. She's from California but her parents moved to Sydney a few years ago.

"You'll never believe what is happening right now." I sit up and rub my forehead. "Oo is there tea?" She asks skipping to my bed eager to cheer me up.

I briefly explain the situation to her and the boys saying that Sam made them promise to "watch after me."

She hit the side of my bed "no fucking way."