The Devil's Summon (R-18 Vikings Series)

Chapter 16

Chapter 16: her dose of pain
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Catalya

Hearts are made to be broken.

Hearts a breakable. But I never thought that even my soul could be bent, my armor could fall.

Wala na ngang pag-asa sa akin ni Julius, nagawa pa akong parausan ng isang demonyo. Mabilis kong pinunasan ang luha kong bumagsak at tinitigan ang repleksyon ko sa salamin. First subject pa lang pero naiiyak na ako sa klasrum. Ayoko naman na makita nila Za. I don't want them to worry. I don't want them to pity me.

I just want... to feel normal.

Isaac...

He does something to me, that guy. Every time. It's his only detriment. He steps on my heart. He makes me cry. He wrings my soul in domination. He imprisoned me in something worst than being a captive of love.

Akala ko iniyak ko na lahat kagabi, pero hindi pa pala naubos ang mga luha ko. After he fucked me, he cuddled me in his arms, bruising my heart even more.

"Umayos ka, Cat. Umayos ka," I whispered to myself and wiped my tears away. I took deep breaths to calm myself but more tears only escaped the corner of my eyes.

"Shit naman," untag ko sa sarili at suminghot. I locked the door kaya mag-isa ko lang sa loob. I could cry here and no one's going to see. No one's going to judge.

Being alone is so sad. There's no one I could talk to. No one I could share my problems with. Because I don't want anybody to know what happened to me. Dapat kong sabihin sa mapagkakatiwalaan ko ang mga personal kong problema. But even if I tell it to somebody, it would still not change the mistake that Isaac did to me. Kaya mas mabuting itago ko na lang at kimkimin mag-isa.

What he did was out of the line. This is a serious matter that needs to be addressed. Law student ako, gusto kong ipagtanggol ang sarili ko. Dapat idemanda ko siya sa ginawa niya. But if I voice out what Isaac did to me, it could ruin me and my future. Estudyante pa lang ako. Abogado ang tatay ko pero hindi ko magawang humingi ng tulong sa kanya. Because if he would know about this, it could fatally affect his heart. And I can't lose him. I can't risk his health. Kaya mas mabuti nang walang nakakaalam para hindi makarating sa tatay ko.

Perhaps this is what the stories meant when they called somebody heartsick. Your heart and your stomach and your whole insides felt empty and hollow and aching. And nobody is there to stand as your rock because no one knows a thing of what you're going through. It's painful inside.

It took me more minutes to completely fix myself before I stormed out of the restroom. Dala ko ang concealer at powder kaya nagawa kong tapalan ang mugtong mga mata ko.

"Tagal mong mag-cr," komento ni Pat pagkaupo ko kaya tipid ko lamang siyang nginitihan at daling nag-iwas ng tingin nang mapatitig siya sa mukha ko.

"Miss mo naman agad ako," banat ko at binuklat ang book sa kung anong page number ang binanggit ng prof sa harap.

"Feelingera ka. Di kita miss. Sadyang namamangha lang kasi walang pusang gumagala," bulong niya kaya inirapan ko siya.

Mariing nakikinig sa Prof si Za na nakaupo sa may likuran.

I breathed sharply before focusing on my studies. I still have a promise to fulfill. My promise to my Dad that I would take law seriously.

Ang bagal ng oras. From time to time pumapasok sa isip ko si Isaac. I tend to reminisce how I begged him to stop as he lashed inside me but he did not listen. I was begging and moaning and taking all the pains and pleasures he was giving me... that wasn't me anymore.