Ice meets Fire || RYEJI ✔

Chapter Thirty-four: Head over Heels

[PLAY SILENT STORM BY CARL ESPEN] A/N: I mean, I highly recommend that u should listen to every song i put just to get you in the feels lol.

Hwang Yeji's POV

I barged through the door, slamming and locking it behind. Running on the staircase, tears swelling my sad eyes, clothes soaked from the unforgiving droplets of rain. Opening my bedroom, pushing the door behind me as I slide down on the floor, hands covering my mess. Gripping my hair as I feel myself burn up in anger, sobbing, I screamed. Throwing everything my hands could reach. Why does it have to be like this? I feel fucked up.

I stood up, my legs limping, feeling weak from all the strength I used in running. I sat down on the bathroom floor, looking at my disheveled state on the huge mirror, head tilted, arms upright on my knees. I laughed, not really knowing what to do anymore. I want to give up. I can't fucking do this. Tears freely escaping from my wrecked thoughts and feelings, not bothering to erase the memories it reminds me. I feel empty, heartless, helpless, and most of it all, I feel stupid.

My breath hitching as I tried gasping for air, thoughts running like a forest wildfire that not even my happy thoughts can cover up. I felt a panic attack arising from system. Memories wandered to Ryujin, who knows I like her but also catching me kissing her ex. I mean, Hyunjin kissed me and I just- I couldn't do anything. If I would stay still all the time things are gonna continue happening out of consent, and that's the problem. I've always been bad grasping for ideas on how to solve them, especially, in times like this. I pushed myself upward, dragging my swelling feet towards the bathroom cabinet, once I found the container, I stared at it for God knows how long. Should I do it? I thought, now grasping and opening the lid. I tilted it, two pills landing on the palm of my hand. "Maybe I should." I sobbed. Slowly, I brought my shaky palm near my mouth, at first contemplating whether I should or shouldn't, but after a couple of seconds, I took it, swallowing the pills I haven't taken for years. Placing it back to its designated place, I returned lying down on my bed, staring at the ceiling, sobering up myself. "What should I do?" I frowned. I've been so lost in my mind that I didn't noticed my sister and a couple of friends entering my bedroom. Shit, I forgot to lock the door.

The corners of my bed sinking as I felt them moving from the corners of my eyes. I flinched when they unisonly hovered over my face, their faces showing distress, making me pout in response. "Why aren't you guys at school? Don't you have classes to attend?" I sat up making them scatter away but still they went near my sit after. Dahyun raised her eyebrows, "Are you my mom?" I rolled my eyes, playing with the pillow I have on my lap. "And, shouldn't we ask you the same thing?" Lia asked.

"My reason is... reasonable." I forced a cheeky smile.

"And ours aren't?" Jennie looked at me with a stern look, I felt myself sink down on the bottom of the cushion. I took a sharp breath and didn't say anything.

"Ryujin told us what happened." Ryujin. Please don't say her name again, it's making me feel too much again. Humming, I didn't bothered looking up. I felt myself getting sleepy, blinking my eyes several times thrusting it back. Dahyun unnie got up saying she'll be back she just have to go to the bathroom for a second.

"Yeji?"

"Please don't talk."

"I was just going to ask ab-"

"I said don't talk."

"Just tell me what's the wifi password. God damn it."

I diverted my gaze to Mina unnie who now has her arms crossed above her chest, pouting adorably. "Oh." I muttered then pointed to the cabinet beside her saying the paper with a "wipie password" is where she'll find the answers. The bathroom door plopped open hitting the wall, making everyone jolt up.

"Did you or did you not?" Dahyun sat beside me, looking at me softly as if a little raise on her tone would shatter me into pieces.

"Did what?" I asked confused.

"The anti-depressant pills, Yeji." I held the bottom of my lip that quavered between my teeth, my vision becomes blurry. I nodded, looking into the pairs of eyes in front of me waiting for some kind of reaction. "Yeji." Dahyun cooed, scooping me with her tiny arms, her eyes are moist as well.

"I'm sorry." I said hugging her back. I felt an arm after arm around me investing the emotions inside to throw up. They gave me a few "you'll be fine" "it's okay, don't be sorry." "we'll fight with you this time" "you're not alone, please remember that."

When we pulled away, I rubbed my stinging eyes, laughing a little as I realized how stupid I look in front of them. "This is embarrassing. You guys have seen me at my worst."

"Yet, here we are." Chaeryeong said sweetly, my heart beating twice. I felt my eyes began watering again.

"No, she's crying again." Lisa unnie tackled me to the bed and mimicked my crying. The tension was uplifted, returned with a lighter feeling in the heart, but that was only for a few minutes after I told them everything I've been doing with Hyunjin.

"If Sandara was still alive she wouldn't be liking what you're doing." Dahyun unnie said, triggering another past.

"But she's not here anymore. She's fucking dead." I grunted trying to stop the conversation.

"And that's exactly my point?" She turned to me, facing her whole body towards me, disappointment written on her gestures. I hissed at her, raising an arm through the air.

"Wasn't this your idea?"

"The idea is meet her and ask her why she have to hide herself in the crowd!"

"That's what I did! But, she had to bring that up! If you were on the soles of my fucking feet, you would've done the same!" I yelled, slightly shaking. I've never done this. I've never raised my voice on my sister.

"Stop it you two! Can't you see? She's getting through you. What's the point in sulking over what you already lost?" Seulgi unnie interrupted. Everyone looked at her in shock. Rubbing my face roughly, I sighed loudly, muttering a small sorry to my sister. I threw myself under the duvet, my eyes grew in confusion when they followed my actions. Idiots. The only idiots that have a place in my numb heart.

"We're players in her game, Yeji. We need to do something for us to win. You will not just sit there and cry. Following her around is a prayer, we can't risk it again." Lia said after having a deafening silence in the room.

"You got a point. In playing a game, you just don't follow the story nor the mission, you got to have your own." Jeongyeon said wisely. I looked at her proudly, earning a smirk.

"What do you suggest?" I asked, once again, the room felt flat because of the silence. Different minds, same thoughts running, and as if we read each other's minds without looking at one another, in chorus, we said,

"We make our own game."

——————

Things are about to happen hehe 🤪

Thank you my fellow people! I wouldn't have gone this far if it wasn't for all of you. 😝✨