[✔️] The Demigod Chronicles ♆ Book 3~ The Trail of Hades

Chapter 29 : Me and Henry Go Through The Tunnel of Love

Alex

I had to say being depressed sucks.

Just waking up everyday feeling like your nothing and nobody loves you is just really makes me feel even worst about myself.

Another way I cope with my dark thoughts, my anxiety, my trauma, low self of stem, suicide thoughts is through writing.

I started writing in my diary when I was only 5. I needed a way to stop thinking about my abuse so I turned to writing.

It was a simple 200 page black diary that I kept in my bag and would pull out every night and every morning and write how my day was and what I was going to be doing.

I know I sound so grim. But hey, writing in this tiny book helped me during tough times.

Like today....

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The Demigod Chronicles Book 3~ Chapter 29

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I was sitting in the driver seat while waiting on the others to get there stuff packed as I was writing in my diary talking about how my day was and even how I was going to make it better.

My knees were brought to my chest as I began to write.

~ Alex's Diary 🖤~

Wednesday, April 1

Dear Diary,

Today is Wednesday April 1st and we are still doing the quest and I have to say It's going ok. A couple of days ago me and the others decided we would crash at Zoe's mom apartment and rest up for the night. I had to say Ms. Grace was nice. She seemed like she was a very good mother though I could sense some tension in their relationship but I ignore it since it was really know of my business. I did it again, I kept telling myself that doing this to my body isn't healthy but I've gotten so use to it that I'm ok with it. I never knew how hard it is to let go. I feel like ending my brutal suffering, but I can't do that to him. I can't do that to Henry. If I decided to end my own life, I would make the worst decision in my life leaving my brother alone to grow up in a cruel violent world. I would never forgive myself, So I just keep smiling so Henry thought I was ok. It's true when people say one smile can hide a thousand emotions. I didn't know how to describe my relationship with the others. I had to say I was pretty close with Nico he was nice. Then there was Leona and Thalia who I really don't talk to. But then there Zoe and Priscilla who I guess I'm getting close with. But then there her. There's Phoenix. She's the daughter of Hephaestus and probably one of the most jokey people I've meet in my life. I couldn't see how she was so happy all the time. I mean she lost her mother of childbirth and she just acts like it never happened. Every time I'm around her I get this feeling in my stomach. My hands were sweaty, my legs weak and not to mention when we got close to one another. I could smell her motor oil smell that didn't really brother me. I didn't know why I felt this way... could it be ? No ! It's not I'm not... I can't tell them.... Would they be ok with it. I can't tell them I'm...
~Alex's Dairy End 🖤~

"Hey Ally !" Phoenix shouted to me unexpectedly causing me to jump from my seat as I looked at her.

"What the {she says the h word} Tool Girl ?!"

"What did I scare you ?"

"No duh." I told her as she chuckled as I took in a breath as she looked down at my lap seeing my diary.

"Oh your a writer ?" she asked me as I looked confused as I looked back up and said "What ? No!"

"Oh so it's your diary. I didn't know that you own a diary." as I gave a eye roll as Phoenix asked